Deathbed vision experiences, has anyone experienced this with there loved one?

My mother in law has a kidney failure, she's very pale and breathless most times. We have a feeling that she will leave us soon. She spoke of a nurse from the 40s coming to see how she was feeling and to collect something. The same elderly nurse who used to come to check on her ill mother (about 50 years ago). This was two days ago. Today her legs feel cold up to over her knees. This nurse wasn't a family member or a friend but would now be deceased. Was this a Death Bed Vison? She's not constantly in bed, she's mobile. The skin around her eyes is red and itchy. She itches badly all over and is losing weight rapidly oven though she eats her meals. She's not overly hungry anymore. We asked a few times about the nurse visiting and she is adamant she has been to see her.

Just sharing actually. I found this thread through my own questing, I'm sure folks will still trip over it years from now. ;) I wanted to add my experience to the pile.

jennie this thread is several years old so don't know if you have question or are just reminiscing.
Seeing spiritual beings is very common at the end of life. Hallucinations are totally different. Some people believe in them and some don't. Hospice nurses are people too so have the same reactions as others. Spiritual visitors are not usually frightening and often people the patient knows who have already passed. hallucinations are often disturbing but seem very real. they can be an inanimate object like a knife or some kind of wild life like a mouse running up the fridge(the nurse hit the fridge with her chart board then mimed throwing the mouse out side the door) The patient was satisfied the mouse had been disposed off. another patient was telling her nurse about all the people she was seeing. In this case they were total strangers but she could describe their clothes. In the middle she stopped and said "Ther's one now she is wearing a red hat" She waved and said "Hello" She was completely rational and just found it amusing. Another man was seen sitting up in bed and looked as though he was eating,smiling and talking. When asked what he was doing he said "Oh Joe just came by and we are having a slice of watermelon

My dad had a lot of visions when he was dying. He had a lot of confusion too, and stuff we worked out as his eyes just not working correctly (things looking closer then they actually were, mundane stuff like that).

I'll never forget one thing that happened to me though, not long before he died. It was a rare moment when he was fairly with it and animated. I took advantage of the situation and offered to get him a coffee from the rather awesome cafe in the nursing home we were in. I got myself a mocha, got dad a latte, and I came back to the room.

When I walked in dad was looking off to the far corner of the room. He turned from that corner, and looked at me. I smiled, lifted the cup and said, "I have your coffee, dad."

And he looked back to the other corner, and then at me once more, and said:

"Did you get one for mum?"

My mum died in 2008.

Around to weeks before my Mum passed on she started to say "Mum". She seemed not worried but rather more comfortable than the rest of the time. Around 48-24 hours before she took the final step, I actually could see my Grandma, uncle and aunt, like clouds lingering over my Mums bed. They did not look solid, but very alive. My grandma was turned towards my mum's face. My uncle and aunt were more sitting patiently , but definitely waiting for something. It was weird, but not at all frightening. Since that I do not believe in anything more nor less than before, but I trust my experiences more than ever. All caregivers stay strong! Never never never let fear take over your hearts.

I too experienced this with my father shortly before he passed and I could not believe what he was saying because he never talked about it like he did that week. One night he was calling out to his mother and apologizing to her and then the day before he left us he said his father was in my living room. Daddy is out there he said. I asked him is Grandpa here for you and he said yes. As I write this I get the chills. It is true what others say here I am a believer too. Grandma and Grandpa were waiting for him and this all happened a few days before Dad passed. It gives me much comfort to know he seen them and he died with a smile on his face something I had not seen in months in the morning so I know my father seen the face of God and all his loved ones were there to greet him. Writing this making me cry again. I love to read these kinds of testimonials from all of you. God Bless.

Being a nurse, I have seen this in patients many times. For the most part, they pass on pretty soon afterward, but not always. My own Mother was napping one afternoon (she was in the nursing home and had been in the hospital); all of a sudden she said, "Mama." She had never done that before, In about a week to ten days, she went on to heaven. She was a believer and prepared to go. While in the hospital she thought my husband was Daddy, who passed in '04. They were married just short of 67 years! I have experienced patients telling me that Jesus was in the room, angels were there, dead relatives were there, etc., Nine times out of ten they themselves passed on within a short period of time.

my dad passed away in december 13/2012 he was 78 i was very close to my dad my sole mate bestfreind everything you could ask for,i suppose ive been very lucky to have or share these experiences. first experiences was my dad told me when hes was about 40 years old he was walking from his mates house his girlfreind and his mate and girlfreind seen a man walk straight through a solid wall there is more to the story but i will leave it there .going on my dads mum and dad passed away 3 weeks apart in 1995 me and my dad was at her bedside at home her husband had passed 3 weeks before about 5 hours before my grandma passed she kept putting hands up to the bottom of the bed saying jack was calling her thats her husband. moving forward to the year 2000 my dad like he allways did over the years sat up all hours of the night i used to do it with him i left home in 1999 im now 35 years old in the year 2000 april my dad said he was sitting down stairs watching television and looked to to the corner of the room to see his dad who passed away in 1995 standing in the corner ,i asked my dad what did you do and he said what would you do he said he was shacking he said he was not wearing the clothes he was buried in and he was just standing there smileing and he said after about 30 seconds he just disappeared, the same day he told my mum and she said is anybody ill in the family later that day he had a phone call saying is brother had passed away . to me that tells me that is prof that we live on after death. now moving forward to the most tragic time of my life the loss of my dad 3 days before he passed i got a phone call at at 5.20 am it was my dad he told me he had this sharp pain in is stomach, now six months before he got told from his gp or doctor that he had liver cancer. on this morning of the phone call i ran to his house what was basically just down the road when i arrived at my dads my mum was with him he told me about this pain i rang paramedics they took him to the hospital i followed about half hour later when i arrived my dad was sitting on the hospital bed my mum pulled me to the side and said did your dad tell you what he seen in the bedroom i said no and my mum said ask him so i did and this is what he told me. first he said he did not want to talk about it then he said he had woken up at 5am and put his feet on the floor like you do he was bent over with this pain and when he put his head back up he said there was 1 women and 5 men standing there one man was closer and he said they was as solid as me and you he said they was wearing white one man he discribed has haveing hair bold in the middle and hair around the outside with a mistash. when he was on morphine he still said them people in the bedroom was ghosts the experience i had was my dad he was in hospital for 3 days before he passed and was sain and not senial a few hours before he passed keep putting his hand over his eyes like blocking out a light in his eyes reaching out and smiling in the corner i had to leave i told him how much i loved him and how much of a good dad he as been all these years and to come back and let me know when he can. he passed at 5.40am my mum told me when he took his last breath a stretchy type cotton looking mist came out of his mouth and she seen a big type shadow follow this mist last left my dad so to me yes there is life after death and we will all meet again one day thanks for reading kind regards

My dad also had these visions in the week before he died. He saw and talked to his deceased friend Jess often. Sometimes he would talk to his mom and dad. On the day he died, not long before he passed, I heard him saying "mom, mom". I asked him if he saw his mom and he said yes, she's about 10 feet away. I asked if anyone else was with her and he said not right now. I told him that she was probably very happy to see him and couldn't wait to give him a big hug. I asked if she had a big smile on her face and he said yes. I then told him it was ok to go to her, that we would miss him terribly but would be ok. He died about an hour later. One night when he was talking to his friend Jess, he was very agitated and kept trying to get up even though he couldn't stand by himself. I asked him what do you need. He said Jess and he had to get in line, they had to be fourth in line. I asked him where the line was and if I could stand there for him until they got to the front of the line since he couldn't stand for very long. He pointed to a particular spot and was very specific about where I needed to stand. He died 4 days later. I found it all very interesting and I know these visions were very different from hallucinations - he had hallucinations at other times when his oxygen levels would get low. But these were very different. In his hallucinations, he never saw people he knew or people who were deceased. I personally found it very comforting to think that his mom and his best friend were helping him through this transition. Kuli

Since mom passed away only days ago, I believe I answered my own questions. Someone was preparing her. A couple days before she took a turn for the worse and became unresponsive, she was chatting away. I listened and then I preceded to go to her and ask whom she was speaking with. She looked at me and said "Ruby" I got chills. "Ruby" was a childhood friend and neighbor of my mothers. Mom was very close to her until she died from intestinal cancer many years ago. I remember when Ruby passed how devastated mom was. So if this does happen that someone comes for us, I am comforted knowing it was Ruby. I know all this can be argued but its hard to question things that you see and hear for yourself. We don't know what goes on when one is half in this world and the next? Since mom passed I have been told some unique stories of loved ones speaking with others we can't see. It is rather interesting.

My grandfather's last hospital stay was the last week of his life. I was his caregiver, so I was at the hospital every single day as soon as they would allow. A day or so after he was admitted, I went in like I had before and sat down on a chair, only to have my grandfather tell me to get up and find somewhere else to sit because I was too big to sit on my grandmother's lap. I looked around for a woman who had been dead for over nine years by then, but I didn't see her. He was absolutely insistent that she was sitting in the chair.

I came to realize that just because I didn't have the eyes to see it, it didn't mean that God hadn't sent an angel who indeed looked like my grandmother to my grandfather. I'm absolutely convinced of it. It would make sense that our Heavenly Father wouldn't want us to be afraid to come home to Him. I think that God allowed Granddaddy to see her because of that very reason, so that he would know that everything was going to be fine. And I'm so grateful that the angel looked like Grandmama, because Granddaddy loved her so much and had missed her every moment they were apart. It made it easier in a way. I knew that he would be taken care of.

His funeral was twenty-eight years ago yesterday and still, I remember it all like it just happened. I don't think I could ever forget it.

The question of an "afterlife" can be discussed forever. There will always be folks on both sides. Some say that these "visions" are just the synaptic process of a dying brain. I say, if that were true, our experiences would be more similar. But each event I have heard about does not support that at all...scientifically, that is.

Believeing in an afterlife or a higher power is more a function of faith...you either have it or you don't. Since it cannot be proven definitively, that either exist, then the only "proof" we will have will come after our own death. Personally, I think that the evidence is too compelling to dismiss. I am a very analytical so, in my universe, science and faith co-exist. I think it is compelling that one of the greatest scientific minds in history, Albert Einstein, was a beliver in an afterlife. I am not so arrogant as to think that I know everything in this world and beyond. So, until someone proves to me, otherwise, I say that these episodes are a way of preparing us for the next life.

I also find it comforting knowing that someone whom we know and love will come back to "collect" us. I think the hereafter is so vast and beyond our human imagination, that this "transition" makes it easier for us to understand and accept.

And that, my friends, is my last "2 cents" for what is left of 2011....see you next year in 2012.

I just wanted to add, I don't believe it is only the elderly who has someone come to them. A good friend's 4 year-old had major surgery. He wasn't able to speak due to a breathing tube, however, he kept pointing to a corner of the room. There wasn't anything in the corner, not even a chair.
He passed away a few days later. As awful as it was to loose him, my friend found some comfort in what he was seeing in that corner.

Amen, Steelerfan. I believe that, too. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience on earth. Science does meet God.
My Mother is 94, advanced dementia, yet the last week or so, she has been more lucid. She is constantly talking to someone, but I cannot understand her very well. I try very hard to intuit. She reaches out to someone and I can hear her "half" of a conversation. It is very interesting,
I hope she is comforted, as she has always been afraid of death and never wanted to talk about end of life, even several years ago.
I know my brother will be there for her, as I feel him with me often. Oh, this life is a mystery and such a test. Happy New Year to All.

This happens often in my family. I believe someone comes for us when it's our time. It's always been a family member, but not always who you think it would be. I find it comforting to know someone comes to take the dying family member's hand to help ease them on their way.
I've read and listened to interviews of explanations regarding how the brain works during this time. The visions and mind playing tricks.
I prefer to believe in my version.
It's hard to say how long they last. My mother has said my great-grandfather saw his daughter, who had passed several years before, for a few months before he passed. My grandmother saw a nephew who had passed the same year, but it was just a few days before she passed.
Believe what feels right to you.

My Mother does the same, but I think it is simply a function of the brain throwing off random "vision memories" or imaginations, as the brain function is burning out.
I am not against the angel or "other plane" theory. I think about this a lot, as I try to figure things out and understand 'why' about everything.
Just as we all have thoughts or triggered memories that seem to "pop" into our awareness, I believe it is the same with dementia and end of life hallucinations, our elders are just totally out of controlling what comes to them, However, I am going to check out the YouTube video, because it is a fascinating subject.
Blessings to you, yellowfever. Hugs, christina xo

My mom has similar episodes (84, in nursing home). A very good book on this subject is "Final Gifts" written by two hospice nurses. I read it when my father died and now am reading it again. Also, I have been interested in the work of Peter Fenwick, You can Google search his name and find other information if interested.
My mom also sees and hears the children. She is currently in hospice, by the way for peripheral vascular disease. For the past year she has been visited by a choir, and the choir director, Will, wants to marry her.
No one in the family remembers anyone in her life named Will or a choir director. He could be a guardian angel, I suppose. But she says he is very rich and will take care of her. The story she tells is very elaborate and full of detail.
She's not on morphine or any drugs that could cause these delusions. She does not have a UTI; though she has one from time to time. BUT As I said, she has been speaking about Will for a year. The vascular wounds in her legs are very very bad and infected. Circulation is so poor that I doubt they'll really ever heal. And now she is on the second Z-pack for congestion. Even with all of this, she is able to speak pretty clearly, though at times it's more mush-mouthed. And she recognizes all of us who visit. I agree with the above comments that we all need help in the transitions of life to death.

I've seen this over and over. My grandmother used to see children playing. The closer to death, the more common it is to experience it. I know that many believe that people hallucinate, etc. I, personally, find it gives me hope for an afterlife. I found much hope in the studies done by Thomas Edison near the end of his life. Even though I have been a very spiritual person my entire life, there was a point in my own recovery of a serious illness (cancer) where Dr.'s actually told me they would continue to treat the cancer, but that it was not working the way they thought it would. They would make me as comfortable as possible. Scary words. The scientific evidence gave my soul a leap and a bound. Everybody has their own personal journey down the path of life in terms of beliefs.

Yes I have seen many instances of this(worked in nursing homes for years) you are not imagining things. And part of what hospices teaches family are the transition your loved one might go through where they seem to have one foot in this plane of existence and one foot in the next.

Does she have an UTI? My mom has gotten them and thought she talked to my Dad.