How do I convince my mom she needs home care?

I am more worried about her foot. If it infects or doesn't heal things are only going to get worse. Is she cleaning it and keeping off it? If it gets infected or to deep she could loose the foot. (I had an aunt that died from such an infection) This is also a good way to get help in. Recently my husbands aunt (diabetic) had such a sore. She wouldn't stay off of it and it was rapidly getting worse. I sat her and her husband down and talked to them about all of the possibilities and what ifs. I told them it was a matter of having me come in daily to dress the wound and clean up the house or they could get a home health care worker to come in daily to dress the foot. Both are very private people in their late 70's early 80's. I gave them a time limit (2 days) to make up their minds. Low and behold a home health care nurse started the next day. Sometimes they just need that nudge. Don't feel bad if you have to use their situation to your advantage when it comes to their health. Sometimes we all need a push to change.

I would sit her down and talk to her. Tell her how mch you love her, how much you worry and you are so afraid she might fall and no one will know, or tell her the doctor said she has to have someone. My Mom was a bugger on this, the wanted no one! I used a white lie and told her the doctor said she cannot be alone and if she doesnt have help she might have to go into a nursing home. Oh man, she accepted then! If your Mom suddently doesnt want to cook, it could be mini strokes, I know someone that did that also and they are un-detectable I guess. Does she have her mind? A call button? Being alone is not a good idea for anyone alone, especially in her condition. Best of luck.

sueman3090,

It is common that many seniors do not want to accept help outside the home or move into a senior living community. They feel that they can still do everything like normal and still want to be independent. These articles might not solve your problem but I think they will help when dealing with your mom.


20 Warning Signs Your Parent Needs Help at Home
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/parents-in-denial-about-needing-home-care-143228.htm

When Elders Don’t Accept Outside Caregivers in the Home
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/When-Elders-Don-t-Accept-Outside-Caregivers-in-the-Home-135237.htm

Best of Luck,
Karie H.
AgingCare.com

You might speak of the idea as a temporary solution. (Most of us can try out something for a period of time. For example, Mom, we can get someone to come in to do many of these tasks, that would allow us to go out and do (favorite thing) when I come over. Or, So and so (someone she respects) asked why we didn't bring someone in for the routine tasks so we can have more visiting time.