Can a daughter prevent a wife from seeing her husband with a POA?

I don't think so. BIg difference from having POA and legal guardianship. I would think your mother is still his next of kin and should talk to the social worker at the Assisted Living Facility

Donald, that was really sneaky to take your mom's husband without your mom's consent or knowledge. I guess you know what his family thinks of the marriage... Speaking of that, is there another person in your step-dad's family that you can talk to? Or are they all just as duplicitous?

i agree with all this sounds not right. Have poa over hubbies grandpa and would never do this.

ok, so it is about the money (on the daughters part) Well, contact the attorney first thing. Find a good one. Also, your mom can send letters to him right? So, have her write letters, and send them certified to make sure that he recieves them. Make copies of the letters. In the letters ask him to write back, ask questions, like do you miss me? Do you want me to come visit you? ect... get that in writing, and also it will prove to the court that your mom loves him, and when (if) she applies for guardian over him, she will likely win. Also, I believe a prenupt has to do with death, or divorce. I do not think it has to do with this current situation. The attorney will be able to tell you how to proceed. There is one thing I am certain of, your mom can go visit anytime she likes. If she goes(with you) to visit, and they give her a hard time, tell them to show you the document that forbids it, and the document that provides for the incompetency.

Wow! I am overwhelmed by your help. As you have already surmised, my mom and Les' daughter do NOT get along. My mom just REmarried Les in May; she had divorced him two years earlier because of the altercations with his family. However, Les was insistent that they get remarried, and so - they did last spring. Within a week of their marriage, his daughter took Les to the courthouse and filed for divorce. When my mom received the papers, she went back with Les to court, and had the divorce papers rescinded. Les was adamant that he did NOT want a divorce - and that he had not realized what the daughter had coerced him to sign.

But - the situation just gets worse. While our family went on a two day reunion trip in July, Les' children moved him into an assisted living center - to all of our astonishment. (We got a phone call from them on our way home.) Mom visited him daily after that, and they went to eat lunch together and/or back to their house. After several months of this, however, the daughter decided that mom couldn't take Les out. Then - in the past two weeks, she has forbidden my mom from even seeing him. I called the director, and he said that the daughter had Les declared incompetent - and she is now authority over all of his affairs. (None of his children ever visit him except to take him to church on Sunday.)

Part of me wants to just run - not even walk - away from this situation - and of course, drag my mom with me. But, I sincerely believe that mom and Les do love each other. Les' kids have virtually imprisoned him just to ensure my mom's eventual departure. I worry now that his children are convincing him that mom is choosing not to visit him - and will encourage him to file for divorce.
Les' kids have inherited a LOT of money from Les, and I don't want to get into a battle in court, because they literally have millions of dollars at their disposal. (Mom signed a prenuptial agreement, so she is not entitled to any of his money.)

But - I will at least call an attourney tomorrow and find out what it will cost to proceed.

Again - THANKS for all of your responses and support!!!!

Also, it sounds a bit like kidnapping, and false imprisonment to me. Talk to an elder rights law attorney. There are a lot of BIG issues here. If anything you can make the daughters life so miserable that she will give up. She wants to control their marriage, why not put a wrench into hers. If you stir up enough crap, this will most definately hit her at home. I would do the same for my husband.

Also, if you have him sign a new POA, do not alert the facility that you and your attorney are coming. They will alert the daughter, and that could be an issue. I believe that there are programs, legal aid for seniors to help. She would need to make sure that the first POA was cancelled, (I believe the new POA would automatically do that, though I am not sure) Let us know.

Tell them you want to see the court documents. Because in order for her to do this, you would have had to be contacted for it to be legal. A doctor can not declare someone incompetent. It is only for a court. You mother has every right to walk into that facility anytime she wants too. Where is his money going? She is entitled to his money for spousal support. If he is on any govt program for insurance, her income should have had to be included in the application. I think you need to dig a little deeper. Who is his health care proxy? You mother could walk him right out of that facility without any recourse. She is his wife. Your mother could have a new POA drawn up with an attorney, and go in and have him sign it, as long as he had not been declared by a court to be incompetent. Again, competency is a LEGAL term. NOT A MEDICAL TERM. I used uppercase, because that is very important. If your mom wants guardianship of him, have her call senior/social services. A lot of times, they will assist her in making that happen fairly quickly. This sounds like elder abuse by the daughter. She is causing him emotional abuse. (by the sounds of it)

Incompetency hearings don't happen in a void. They take time. Did the director tell you just when this all happened?

Did your mother receive any notice at all? Since she's legally his next of kin (assuming that their marriage hasn't been annulled by the stepdaughter and/or his other children), she should have received something from the court if he has been declared incompetent. You need to find an attorney for her and go with her to find out what in the world is going on.

THANKS to all of you who have posted info. Here' s an update.
I did call the assisted living facility, and the director said that the daughter has a poa and has had Les declared incompetent (whether by a doctor or court, I don't know.) The daughter has forbidden my mom from taking Les out to lunch or back to their house - and, just recently, has even banned my mom from even seeing him. The director said that is because when my mom comes to visit, Les becomes agitated when she leaves. He wants out of the facility, and on several occasions, they have caused a scene about his being able to leave.

As for the move into the facility - it did happen over one weekend. I guess the place must have had a room available, but his children moved him out of his home and into the assisted living facility during the two days we were gone.

I understand that. I also understand that this POA and a move into an assisted living facility didn't happen overnight. There has to be more to this than anyone on this message board knows.

The only way to say he is incompetent is if he was deemed that in a court of law. Competency is legal term.

The reason that I know what was in my aunt's POA is because in this state, POAs are considered public record and legally recorded at the Registrar of Deeds' office. They are available for examination by ANYONE, something that you can do online from the comfort of your own home for absolutely nothing. They simply scan in the original document. You can see everything they contain including the signatures of the people who sign them as their witnesses.

And once again, it depends on what is in the POA itself. As I said earlier, my aunt gave control of her personal relationships to her children in the POA that she made.

Something else to consider is whether the stepfather is mentally competent to revoke a POA. If he isn't, the mother would have to take steps to be appointed as his legal conservator. That's a long and expensive process.

Just because she has POA, your father in law can do what ever he wants. She cannot tell him that he can't. As a matter of fact, your father in law can terminate the POA without any recourse from her. If he wants to see her, he can. I would suggest talking to an attorney. POA isn't control, it is the ability to control if needed.

Actually, it depends on what the document says. My cousins actually had a POA that gave them control of their mother's personal relationships. I've seen it myself, so I know the provision was there in the POA. I couldn't believe that any attorney would put such a provision in, much less that my aunt would have done so, but they did.

POA has to do with things like handling money and assets, signing contracts, etc. How can it be used to limit who can visit? Have you talked with the ALF director?

Apparently the move had been planned for some time -- you don't pick an ALF and waltz in the next day. So what is really going on here? Sounds like some major antagonizm.

You need to talk to an attorney. Your mother is his legal next of kin. Unless his daughter has gotten something legal that has ended the marriage and given her conservatorship over your stepfather, she would seem to be overstepping her bounds at the very least. What has the relationship been like between your mother and stepsister? Is it normally adversarial?