Mom is in a nursing home as private pay. She has the proceeds of the sale of her house paying for this along with little savings. What is the legal matters of "gifting" without hurting her prospects when she does indeed need to file for Medicaid?

I did some reading last night about long-term care insurance. It is too late for your mother now, cicuomo, but other people may not know. Most states have a Medicaid LTC partnership program now. Paying into the program is an excellent option for those of us who don't have a lot of money. LTC insurance is expensive! People who are in the partnership program still use Medicaid if going into NHs, but spend-down is not necessary. I thought this a wonderful idea. The program is administered through the normal insurance companies. I haven't been able to find out what the costs are. The only things I've found either obligate you to one company or get your telephone number put on a telemarketing list. I wish more information was available online without information exchange.

thank you all for your comments. I knew deep down, in order to do what is right for Mom, is to seek an elder care lawyer. I do know that she is "lucky" to be able to pay for her nursing home care, as long as it last. The sad thing about all of this, is my Father (he's been deceased for 6 yrs.) never looked past the present day, thus I am left to make the right decisions for Mom.

I have tried to work through some of these issues, too. The sad truth is that with the cost of medical care, the estates of many families in the US are being used to pay medical expenses, so are not passing down as they once did.

Do see an attorney or a qualified estate planner about any options that may be available to you to safegaurd some of the estate as an inheritance.

I am afraid that fewer and fewer middle class people can expect to be able to leave a significant financial legacy now that life spans have increased so dramatically. Now people's retirement money has to support them for 20 or 30 or 35 years after they stop working, and often for many of those years they may require expensive care. No wonder so many cannot even continue as private pay residents but at some point have to apply for assistance in the form of Medicaid. They can't pay for their own care and they have nothing left to leave to another generation. This is very sad, both for the individuals involved and for the social divide between the haves and the have-nots. But it is currently they way it is.

Do seek expert advice on your particular situation. And do be glad that your mother can at least pay her own way at this time (as I'm sure you are).

This is difficult as in order to transfer $ it has to be done in advance in order to pass the Medicaid review. The review time-frame can be up to 5 years, although most states require you give them 3 - 6 months of all financials and then the state can request more if something piques their interest.

You could go to see an elder law attorney to see what would be possible in your mom's state that will pass the review. There is a "Personal Services Contract" that can often be done - by this she would pay you a reasonable amount to "manage" her affairs &/or take care of her. But imho at this point, the nursing home is doing her daily care, & with her home being sold and no real investments (like stocks or other financials that need monitoring) her finances are pretty transparent with each month clearly showing the balance forward and the set amounts each month taken out for the NH there probably isn't any real need for you to get paid to do that.

Whatever you do, realize that you & her are fortunate to have the $ to pay for her care.You know if they live long enough, they will run out of $....eventually.

Sometimes it can be almost better not to sell the house, if it is paid for and costs a reasonable or modest amount to be maintained,. Although you pay for the upkeep/taxes/etc but then file for reimbursed from the estate after death. Plus this amount gets deducted from whatever Medicaid estate recovery may go after.

I think it's the hope of every parent, to leave money for their children when the parent dies. It's not always possible though, or practical. My in-laws always hoped to do that too, but after my father-in-law died, my mother-in-law needed that money to live on. She herself complained much at first when we took her out of her paid off house, in order to live in asst living that's $3400.00 a month. What a blow that was for her to have to pay out that money every month. She has dementia/alz but still she understands how expensive that is. I always remind her when she mentions how much she hates paying that much money, that that's what the money was for, her care. My father-in-law set that up so she'd be taken care of, and if there's money left over for their sons, then that's just gravy.