Sebring: If you're looking for someone to take over managing day-to-day finances for your dad (bill paying, etc.), consult the American Association of Daily Money Managers It's what they do! You can search by zip to find someone in your area.
(Full disclosure: I run a daily money management company in DC, MD, VA, and NC.)
sebring, I know it doesn't do any good to tell you it's the disease, BUT ---
Keep in mind they will drive us to our early deaths and then wonder why we don't come around for more abuse anymore.
"Where the heck are they?" "Uh, they died, Gramps. Don't you remember? We buried them yesterday!" "But, where the heck are they? I have a zinger of an insult for 'em today!"
~ The road goes on forever and the party never ends!
i want an outside person to take over dads money because he is bouncing checks and blaming me! i dont touch his checkbook, i had one credit card that i paid $300 on everymonth ( minimum payment was only $30. but i would pay $300 because he didnt pay it for 4 months, and i didnt know..now i pay with money order recieps) but im getting blamed and i dont touch any of his money... apperently he thought i spend too much on medication when i got cancer and needed a hysterctomy and overie removal,,so he canceled my card 'because im costing him too much'..huh? i paid triple the minimum every month, i have reciepts. hes got omaha steaks in the freezer, and IM costing him money? since my surgery ive had no appitite at all. i am sick of him trash talking me and people happy to think the worst of me, ive never stolen or used anybody, i take pride in myself for not being greedy, and this is shattering.. other junk going on too, sorry to hijack your thread, i just found out more crap hes done to me behind my back..i am shocked, im floored that he has turned on me, ..im sorry, im rambling
Ego joe, if your folks are of sound mind, I don't think you can do anything. It is their money to do with as they wish. It is really not helping your brother for them to indulge him, but that's their call to make. Suggestion number one above sounds like a good idea, but I am guessing your folks won't go for it. Canyou mention your concerns to your folks? Maybe they have more money than you think and can afford to keep indulging your brother as well as take care of themselves. Ljbjpb, not sure if you are saying your folks will not be able to stay in assisted living without more income (first comment) or if they need money for personal care (second comment). Big diff. Is it possible your bro. Is concerned that they will need the proceeds from their house's sale to stay in their present home should their savings be depleted? If your parents are doing without things they need or want, it might be worthwhile to sell the house for less than one would like. Otherwise, it might be best to sit tight and see if the housing market picks up.
My parents are elderly but they are well, self sufficient and living in their own home - the concern is that my brother is slowly depleting their savings in order to maintain his "phony" lifestyle.
ljbjpb: If your parents need more money for personal care items, then why not dig down into your own jeans and come up with this small amount of cash to cover thier needs. The sale of their home is overkill.
If your parents died tomorrow, your brother would sell their house, and you and your brother would received the proceeds, correct? I assume that your parents income ( Social Security, Pensions and IRA Distributions, etc.) are the sole support of them while they are in Assisted Living. Correct? Why do they need more money that this? To answer your Q: No, there is no one who can force your brother to sell your parents house, other than your parents.(the owners).
My brother is trustee of my parents trust. They are in assisted living now and need more money for their care. He refuses to sell their home because of the down real estate market. He wants to protect their investment. Without the sell of their home, they will not be able to afford the assisted living home. I think he is trying to preserve his inheritance. He has already spent all their savings on the upkeep of their home. Is there anyone who can force him to put the home up for sale.
1) Enlist the help of an outside professional, such as a Daily Money Manager,Financial Planner, or Geriatric Care Manager. These professionals often deter grabby children from getting the money because just their mere presence means that the children know someone is looking.
2) Tie up excess cash in safe, illiquid assets. If the parents have more cash lying around than they need, it makes sense to invest it in low-risk, illiquid assets such as CDs or short-term bonds. It can be set up so that the CDs or bonds mature on a set schedule so that only enough funds for monthly expenses are available.
3) Set up a trust with someone other than the parents as trustee. Contrary to popular belief, most trusts are not expensive to establish. The trustees will have full discretion over the disbersement of funds. This strategy is really only helpful if the parents are willing to cede control of the funds, and most are not if they are still cognitively "with it."
4) If you believe that there is fraud, exploitation, or undue influence taking place, you can file an anonymous report with Adult Protective Services for them to investigate.
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(Full disclosure: I run a daily money management company in DC, MD, VA, and NC.)
Keep in mind they will drive us to our early deaths and then wonder why we don't come around for more abuse anymore.
"Where the heck are they?"
"Uh, they died, Gramps. Don't you remember? We buried them yesterday!"
"But, where the heck are they? I have a zinger of an insult for 'em today!"
~ The road goes on forever and the party never ends!
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apperently he thought i spend too much on medication when i got cancer and needed a hysterctomy and overie removal,,so he canceled my card 'because im costing him too much'..huh? i paid triple the minimum every month, i have reciepts. hes got omaha steaks in the freezer, and IM costing him money? since my surgery ive had no appitite at all.
i am sick of him trash talking me and people happy to think the worst of me, ive never stolen or used anybody, i take pride in myself for not being greedy, and this is shattering.. other junk going on too, sorry to hijack your thread, i just found out more crap hes done to me behind my back..i am shocked, im floored that he has turned on me, ..im sorry, im rambling
Ljbjpb, not sure if you are saying your folks will not be able to stay in assisted living without more income (first comment) or if they need money for personal care (second comment). Big diff. Is it possible your bro. Is concerned that they will need the proceeds from their house's sale to stay in their present home should their savings be depleted? If your parents are doing without things they need or want, it might be worthwhile to sell the house for less than one would like. Otherwise, it might be best to sit tight and see if the housing market picks up.
I assume that your parents income ( Social Security, Pensions and IRA Distributions, etc.) are the sole support of them while they are in Assisted Living. Correct? Why do they need more money that this?
To answer your Q: No, there is no one who can force your brother to sell your parents house, other than your parents.(the owners).
1) Enlist the help of an outside professional, such as a Daily Money Manager,Financial Planner, or Geriatric Care Manager. These professionals often deter grabby children from getting the money because just their mere presence means that the children know someone is looking.
2) Tie up excess cash in safe, illiquid assets. If the parents have more cash lying around than they need, it makes sense to invest it in low-risk, illiquid assets such as CDs or short-term bonds. It can be set up so that the CDs or bonds mature on a set schedule so that only enough funds for monthly expenses are available.
3) Set up a trust with someone other than the parents as trustee. Contrary to popular belief, most trusts are not expensive to establish. The trustees will have full discretion over the disbersement of funds. This strategy is really only helpful if the parents are willing to cede control of the funds, and most are not if they are still cognitively "with it."
4) If you believe that there is fraud, exploitation, or undue influence taking place, you can file an anonymous report with Adult Protective Services for them to investigate.