What can I do if a family member steals pills from our aunt whom we caregiver for?

Just so you know, if the 'caregiver' you mentioned noticed your aunt's pain meds missing as well, then YOU and your family have already been reported to the State for suspicion of elder abuse. VNAs are MANDATORY reporters and they have to report these suspicions by law, part of their job. You and your family are probably already being watched. If this behavior continues, the State could take charge and throw you and your relatives out of her house for her safety.. Again, VNAs are MANDATORY reporters, I am sure there is already a file or case in the VNA records. You are probably being watched already, and I agree with the above. There is a special place in hell for people who steal an elder persons pain pills. YOU, as the caregiver, are going to have to put your foot down and figure it out to stop your relatives from stealing her drugs. Frankly, if I knew who/where your aunt was, I would report it myself. Your addicted relatives need to go to rehab.

I am a 78 year old pharmacist and thought I had heard it all. I have been on pain management for several years due to a broken back and noticed my pain meds were not lasting the entire month. I even questioned my wife of 50+ years and my pharmacist (who I had hired). After getting those I loved and trusted mad at me, I found out another family member was the culprit. I had signed a contract with my MD that I would report any hanky panky but to date have not done so because of all of the repercussions (it would literally destroy my family). I have chosen to stay silent but be ultra safe with my pain meds. There is a special place in hell for those who would put their elders through this.

Also, as to anyone who needs to know what to do when your medication is being stolen and you're suddenly out (especially if you take a controlled substance) you absolutely can go to the ER and have a Dr evaluate you and often they will give you a dose or two in an emergency. If not exactly what you're prescribed then something similar that has less addictive side effects.

I don't understand why the majority of these respondents are blaming the person asking this question. It seems to me that this person is courageous for not only trying to do something about it, but also asking for help. It is very painful dealing with friends or family members (even the ones you don't really like) who are addicts or have similar issues. Especially when they treat you as less than important than their fix. If an addict wants something enough often a lock won't do it. How can you expect someone to automatically assume they must treat someone they care about as a thieving stranger? For most normal, caring individuals it's counter-intuitive to treat friends and family like that.

please need instant help now his father really needs his pills his son is taking them and telling him no way you r getting theses and takes them hims self

My boyfriend gets his pills every month. He just got them filled yesterday for severe pain he gets Morphine, Xanax, and Narco 10-325. His son abuses his dad and takes all his pills. Now his father is in pain and his son will not give them to him. He takes them every month. Just talked to his son and he told me he has them. His father is crying in pain and won't give them to him. He is taking them himself plus selling some. What do I do? Please help.

Well, I guess we are back to tough love. I have to agree.

I personally lock them in a "safe" and keep the keys being you r living their anyway and then u can administer them to her as she needs them and of couse as recommended on the bottle. As for the ones that r stealing I would boot them out of the house and threating call police. They r no way helping any matters for your Aunt's health & lifestyle and if you cannot seem to do then let the police or adult family service get involve to help you.

My sister in law actually talked the care giver at hospice into letting her givemy mom her liguid cause she did it better and was quicky taking it when nurse didnt see, people who are addicts find ways to get to pills if they know they around sadly. But locking them up in a a place they dont even know about might work for a while. But my mom before she went to hospice use to try her best to hide them from sister in law and she would somehow find them cause mom didnt lock them. my brother wouldnt believe mom about her taking them either. really suck for both people, the one in pain who needs meds and the so addicted it controls their life.

Of course they would be pain meds...those are the worst things one can ever get addicted to, and I've even heard of people stealing them from pharmacies. Those sorts of drugs need to be kept in a LOCKED place and also you should probably call the police, they may be able to do something. Hope this helps...

o.k. I guess I should also say I'm sorry for being harsh also ,but I was saying it with good intentions. Pain pills aren't something to take lightly. People are dying everyday because of them. I.m sorry. I do not want to see any more people hurt from these drugs especially when we are aware of a situation at hand.

Kyllokustoms and Ladeeda: I want to apologize for my rant(s). I hope you find a safer place for the pills. Maybe you can call Adult Protective Services and get some assistance. Good luck.

ladeeda: I'm sorry if my answers were harsh. They were harsh, so I'm not saying they were not, however, you can't get a restraining order on someone who lives in the house. You would have to have them arrested and charged. I don't have a problem with that, but you have to have some proof as to who is doing the stealing of pills. On some level, from what I read, it seems like everyone is living at the Aunt's house. Who pays the bills? In case you didn't notice, the question is poorly written, it says the Aunt lives there along with Grandma (I'm guessing that's the Aunt's mom) and then the person writing and her fiance. So who is the "Grandma and her mom" that have an addiction to pain pills? The pills are not in a safe place or they would not be used by others. The police can't come into the house and just guess at who is stealing them. Bottom line, lock up the pills.

You may also contact the police and get a restraining order put on this person, or have them arrested if you know they are doing this... sorry for the harsh answers above, you were simply asking a question and probably just needed some encouragement to call the police... it is better to have that person upset than to have your aunt not getting her meds... let me know what happens and how you are doing... hugs

We seem to be telling you the same thing. It's hard to understand how they can possibly still be getting them if you say they are in a safe place . Are you for real? If it is such a safe place then you explain how they are getting them. Look up the word "safe" and maybe you'll understand what the word means. I don't mean to be blunt either But if I were your aunt I WOULDN'T FEEL SAFE WITH ANY OF YOU! How can you be keeping her safe if you can't even figure this out? I think somethings fishy about all this. You can't be a caregiver to someone if you can't even take care of their medicine!!

What do you mean by a safe place. If other family members can get to them, then the place you are putting them is not safe enough. I don't mean to sound harsh, but clearly what you are doing isn't working, so you have to do better. Get a small trunk and put a padlock on it. Only you and the caregiver have the key. If that doesn't work then you need a small safe. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but someone has to take some responsibility here. If the ones taking the meds have an addition problem, then maybe it would be wise to talk the their doctors and alert them to this problem. Maybe your aunt needs to consider different living arrangements for those who would steal her meds. Start with the trunk.

they are put in a safe place. They still find a way to get to them

You are responsible to keep pain meds safe. Do your job and stop blaming everyone else. Put the meds is a safe place. Get a small safe if you need to, but take care of the problem.

Why do you leave them where they can steal them? It should not be hard to do. You or the caretaker hold on to them and give them to your aunt when she needs them. OF COURSE an addict is gonna take them when your letting them. I think your just as guilty if your allowing it and it sounds like you are.......It's hard to believe that this is a problem if you are aware of it. Your letting them do this. YOU MAY AS WELL JUST BE PUTTING THE PILLS IN THEIR HANDS.