Can I pay myself out of my mother's checking account for wages lost the last 11 months because I had to retire early and got less Social Security?

First you need the POA, which you have, then see an elder care attorney, who will draw up legal agreements for you to receive rent, pay, etc. according to your and your mother's financial circumstances. But, do NOT do this without the legal agreements.

For anyone having to take care of an elderly relative's money, look into becoming their representative payee. You get a handy little booklet that tells you how you can and (more importantly) can't spend their money. It's administered under Social Security, and is surprisingly flexible in what you can spend. Just be sure to document every cent spent. I write down every check in a notebook, with reminders in case I ever get questioned.

By saying I am not recieving full benefits it should be obvious that as I retired early I am not recieving the full benefit as if I had been able to wait a couple more years to retire. Nobody is saying that they are being shorted by SS, only that we are not recieving a "full" maximum benefit as if we had been able to work longer. Such is the danger of retiring early to care for a parent. In my case, I was downsized and had to take an early retirement as in our small relatively isolated community other jobs were not readily available, rather than moving to another location to find work. I was already taking on a big load looking after my mother. Under the circumstances it was the only road I could take.

As long as she is competent enough to agree to a verbal agreement of payment and your brother agrees, I believe you would be fine. You would have to pay yourself as a caregiver. There is also a caregiver stipend through your state that you might check into. The trust fund is a good idea but I was told that it has to be a large sum like a million dollars because there is a bond attached, etc. I am not sure. I always say if you do anything, document well and put the money in a separate account that it might gain interest or 6-month cd, IRA, and that way the money is there if questioned later about it. Also if the money is somewhere else you don't have to claim as income but claim the interest.

For those who have indicated that they are not receiving full Social Security funding because they elected to receive benefits prior to age 65, YOU ARE RECEIVING FULL BENEFITS. The calculations from the Administration factor in the length of time you will be receiving funds. Funding is available at age 62. Those who wait until 65 or LATER receive a larger check, but their time is shorter (allegedly). Many die before any check is issued. Some die with only a short time of benefits. Others, like my husband, did not retire until age 78 and of course his check is larger than most. It's all factored in.

I too had to retire early so I am not recieving full SS benefits. I was co-signature (is that the right word?) on mom's account (by mom) to sign checks and draw money on her account for years - I had legally bought the house from her so she technically lived with me, she paid no rent (I would not have asked it anyway) but insisted on paying certian household expenses in lieu of rent like heat (because she liked the house to be warm as she suffered from the cold weather) and telephone (She used it much more than I, a great deal as a matter of fact), the lion's share of groceries (she always insisted on setting a good table), etc. I would use her debit card for it. I do not know the legality of it, I do not think there was anything illegal about it, this continued until the time of her death. I did not and have never thought of it as "pay", I checked with my tax guys and they agreed. Now that she is gone and I am sole surviver, I am starting to feel the pinch and may have to start cancelling things or sell the house if I can find a buyer. Thanks mom, for your help while you lived!

No, Donna, you can't do that.

Doesn't matter if you are both on the bank account. If medicaid feels your mom's funds are going to you then you have big problems. Get some legal advise and until then don't write any checks to yourself.

to donna - what if you both are on the bank account?

An Elder lawyer in your area would be the best to advise you and you want to keep good records of how the money is spent-you have to be careful because medicaide is still pending-I hope you are getting help from a social worker-if she has to spend down I think that money has to go for her care-if she is still home -you would be able to use her money for in home aides which would give you a break in caring for her.

Donna: You can have a written agreement with your mom to pay you for your care taking time. You would also have to claim it as income, pay tax on it, Soc. Sec withholding, etc. You can charge her rent if she is living with you, also must be a written agreement and you must claim it as income. Also both written agreements should be done by an elder attorney AND you mom would need to be competent to sign them. Since she is not, that presents a problem. Maybe an elder attorney can help you with those issues. Also there is a type of trust that her money can go into that holds the excess income (over $1500.00). This would not violate her medicaid status, but the funds in the trust would be used by NH or whatever to pay her expenses until that excess was used up. There are those on this website who can explain the trust issue much better than I can. But, I would strongly advise you to not write checks to yourself without a formal legal agreement. It will cause problems with your medicaid application.

There r so many legalities that could arise against u that I would consult a lawyer with ur specific circumstanses & get this issue resolved

My Brother and I both have POA ,Medicaid is pending and she is not capanble of signing.

Do you have POA? Is your mom capable of signing an agreement to pay you? I understand your situation. The same thing is happening to me. Unfortunately there are some legal ramifications to think about. Will she be going on medicaid in the future? If your mom has the funds, you deserve to be paid!