My mom just entered a nursing home from an Assisted living two weeks ago. She had just entered AL last July. Her dementia got so bad that she just went downhill from the AL. Went to the hospital since she got really combative and they discroved that had a really bad UTI. She has dementia and is in a wheelchair since she was so weak from the hospital. she's just about forgotten how to waslk. Medicare cut off her NH funding after 10 days since she's combative and keeps fighting with the PT's and doesn't want to try to get better. She always sundowned around 3 to 7 at night. Yesterday I went to see her around 10 a.m. and she was totally combative threw a glass of water at me, cursed and screamed and told me to get the hell out. They couldn't get her to take her meds. Finally yesterday afternoon she took them but was still not calm. All I could do was cry, not for me but for her. The nurse told me that she was having a bad mornign and it wasn't personal. She told me to call before I go over next time so that they could tell me her condition at that time. Called again this morning and she was the same way. What do I do? Do I not visit her when she's this way? I don't want her to think I've deserted her? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
By the way, she's been on Ativan, Depakote, Resperidal etc. They now have her on Seroquel
Thank you, Rita
13 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
My mother would refuse meds as well and of course this only complicates things. It did take some time to have the right combination of meds, but what a difference once that is accomplished. But, even after that, you can expect some of the same behaviour to surface again and again. I do keep in touch with the staff and often when I visit they will warn me "it is a bad day" and sure enough, they were right. She would tell me to get out, etc. etc. etc. And so I would. Which is unfortunate as I have to drive 2 hours to get there. I can only go on certain days due to work, etc. so sometimes just have to take my chances.
The best thing to do is try to always be mentally prepared for the worst - that is what helps me - and often she is surprisingly OK. Every situation is different. But, it took professionals to tell me to stay away and I'm glad I listened. Bless you and take care.
My mother is now 83, she also has Alzheimer's. She is still living at home and in denial. I wonder at time what this means for me and my 3 sibling??? She also has a personality disorder which complicates things. Take care of yourself as it is so important that your health and well being is being addressed♥!!