The nurse says the elderly lady MUST have a shower. Is this fair to the elderly lady?

As Jeanne said, is there anyone who can help the hospice worker with this? Perhaps an aide or CNA at the nursing home could assist under the circumstances. It doesn't seem quite right to expose an elderly person to this if they are responding so negatively. Also, as Jeaane mentioned, why not a bedbath? And also as Ruth mentioned, this needs to be dealt with a lot of patience and understanding. I don't think anything should be forced on a poor elderly person who is that upset. I would talk to the social worker at the nursing home or the nurse manager and explain the situation. There must be a better way. Good luck.

Sometimes the elderly person does not understand what is going on, although we THINK it's been explained. It would be like someone walking up to you and saying "Blah blah blah blah? Blah BLAH blah blah!" and then starting to take your shirt off. You might scream and hit at her, too. I know I would. The bath aide should know to very gently demonstrate what she is about to do, and do it slowly and very kindly. Walk or wheel the elderly person to the shower, point it out to her, and using gestures explain what is about to happen. "I will take your shoes off, now. Are you comfortable?" etc. Of course it's best for anyone to have a regular shower or bath, but it's not worth completely stressing them out. Patience, patience, patience. And who is this elderly lady of whom you speak?

Is this the hospice nurse who says she must have a shower? Can he or she arrange some help for this task? Would a bed bath work?