How do I find a patient's rights advocate for an person with dementia in a residential care home?

My Husband and I have been caring for his 90's elderly parents for 6 years until my Father in law was admitted in a VA Hospital and stayed there for 10 months until he died because a Conservator with the assistance of a VA social worker and Adult Protective Agent and a Sales Representative carried out their mission behind the Son's back. Conservatorship hunts for elders who has a home, free & clear and cash. Majority of people in America are not aware of it just like me and my husband. Your parents hard earned money is gone and they lived off on elders people money. My Father in law is a WW11 veterans , earned a purple heart. It is heartbreaking how he endured the 10 months in the VA and now my 93 year old mother in law who has dementia has a home care unskilled caregivers, their salaries are 20 thousand a month for 24 hour and they are all employees of this Popular Conservator, while her son and I are prohibited to ask and a supervised visit. They are now in the process of reverse mortgage. We spent our savings for a year now for lawyers that we found out later they have self interest. There is nothing any one can do, just be prepared and take care of your parents, because they don't. Once the assets are drained, they withdraw themselves.

Where do I find the answer to my question ?

The San Francisco Superior Court Probate Division has a pre-determined judgment to grant conservatorship to a conservator that everyone you meet says she is the best in town. Unless you research and discover how and why, family member has zero chance once they gain access of your elders assets, Now how can I prevent them from a reverse mortgage that is already in the making after they spent and concealed their cash and transfer all the property to a 93 yr old spouse who is suffering from alheimers and costing 20,000.00 to pay the conservatorship's employees for 24 hour home care and prevent her children to visit .

To the lady living with the 92 year old, unless she pays you as caretaker, your only other resort is to look at your local county Medicaid office and ask about Passport and other programs, food stamps, etc..... You also might qualify to receive SSI if you are not 65 and on Social Security. Especially if you have little or no assets.

You have to be proactive. Otherwise you will end up screwed.

If that cousin is your aunt's power of attorney she has the right to restrict anyone she chooses. I did with my a**hole brother. The nursing home is under threat of a lawsuit if they let him anywhere near mom.

As for the patient falling and hospice being brought in, that is not an unusual scenario. Old people fall and the result can be devastating enough to need hospice.

I've been sole caretaker for years with no help from anyone. When they all started
sniping me when I put mom in the nursing home, I told them all to mind their own business. I kept her out far past when I should have and I paid for it emotionally and physically and economically. I could not work while playing caretaker and she refused to pay me.

Outsiders, even when family can cause far more grief than necessary.
I'd tell you all to buzz off too.

You can call your state's ombudman for nursing home and assisted living facilities. What state are you in?

sthumbtzen: Check with Nurse at your Mother-in-law's doctor's office, call Medicare/Medicaid - which ever she has to find out what they will pay for - may pay some visiting care services to help with care, or pay you under some programs. If no additional benefits, look at bartering room and board live-in care for her for hours you need to be out working in order to bring in an income.

If there are no remedies in those directions, you need to get social services to help in placing her in a facility that will take Medicare or Medicaid pay for her care and housing if you cannot be paid for her care.

As hard as it may seem for a while if you have to take on this transition, it may be something you have to consider, and she will adjust over time.

All the best!

Gab3: Yes, as others have indicated, you can contact your local Long Term Care Ombudsman Program through your local State's Health department for a long term solution.

While you are getting the info, you and your Aunt's three sisters should also contact your cousin and advise her you are planning to take action unless the rest of the family is immediately provided with the Nursing Home information and visitation arranged ASAP to meet with and access the condition your Aunt is in, and to get answers from the nursing facility director about her fall, care, etc.

You may be end up being able to resolve within the family.

If not, and this seems to be an urgent situation, I would advise that you call your local Department of Aging, and their representatives can investigate immediately for abuse - they will meet with your cousin, Nursing facility, and interview your Aunt to access situation, then make sure steps are taken to resolve, or will remove her from the facility if an issue there of her safety and care.

I have a 92 yrs old mother in law who is living with me at my home under my care and she have dementia. I am unemployed and have no source of income whatsoever, is there a program that could pay me to care for my mother inlaw at my home? She refuse to be at the nursing home except living with me. My husband was supporting me cause he was also disable, but now he passed away and i have to look for a job and i can't leave my in law at home by herself.

Contact your county Long Term Care Ombudsman Program.The state Department of Health should be able to supply you with a contact phone number.They will put a case worker on it quickly.
This does not sound good at all especially the fall and being put on Hospice after such a short period after admission.
Call any nursing home and they will supply you with some contact numbers.It is the law.
I would not wait long because bad things happen rapidly in situations like this.
They may not entitle you to visitation but at least someone will look into your aunt's wellbeing and put your mind at rest.

You can contact the state you live in or ask the social weroker for the Obundsman, I have not found her to be helpful for me but it is a free service that is offered on behalf of the patient whom advocates for the patient rights. My spelling of the Abundsman may be wrong but you can google the term.