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Kathamp47 Asked May 2012

Can I take care of my mother and live with her?

chimonger Jun 2012
Yep--need more details to properly answer that one!

jeannegibbs Jun 2012
What is your mother's level of impairment? What does she need help with? What is her emotional/mental health like? What has been your relationship with your mother? Do you work? Have a husband or life partner? Children? Can Mother afford to pay you? Can you afford to support another adult? Are there other family members who would provide respite care when you need to get away? Is there money available to pay for such care? Do you have siblings? Will they be supportive and helpful or make your life miserable at every turn?

Many adults do live with a parent, either in the parent's house or in their own, and have a successful and rewarding experience doing it. Those people tend not to frequent sites like this a lot. What we tend to see on this site are the caregivers who are having difficulties with the arrangement, and those difficulties range from minor friction to incapacitting conflict.

The simple question "Can I take care of my mother and care for her," has the simple answer, "Maybe." If you want more specific advice, provide a broader picture. Whatever your situation, there are likely to be posters here who can relate to it and share their experience.

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tigger2 Jun 2012
It is possible. I did it for several years, but there needs to be ground rules. The last few years my mom was alive she couldn't drive so I made sure there was always nutricous food in the house and that she had her meds. She could cook and use the microwave. The only real problem I had was that she wanted me to give up my own life to be her companion. She had held most of the family at arms length and now couldn't understand why she didn't have many visitors. Even when we tried to take her out she wouldn't go because she had to have oxygen and was ashamed of it. I stood firm about giving up my life but saw that her physical needs were met.

debbya Jun 2012
im caring for my 83 yr old dad all by myself,, i call him mr. miserable.. and my answer is..... only by the Grace of God.. and the strength He gives you.

arose4yu Jun 2012
You will have to be the one who can answer this. Can you handle it?

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