Raising 3 children, let alone making sure I have the finances. and caring for my spouse is tough..... I have to manage my spouses finances which is only social security and then raising 3 children and all the work entailed of houskeeping is
tough, I feel used up, I feel taken for granted and I feel like Im everyone's slave
and my dreams and concerns for myself are the last thing to consider. Im tired and I want to be considered and Im not. My children now are 17, 20 and 22 its about time they cleaned up after themselves and had chores and had a consciousenous mind to clean up after themselves and maybe make dinner while I take care of "DAD" and pursure our own endeavorments!! Im physically tired, I clean up after them all on top of caring for my spouse , I have a bad back and Im just tired!!! What do I do...I've tried to implicate a schedule but they still don't follow it...its ridiculous... I can comment that no one is willng to cook dinner so no one is gonna eat, but I get very pissed off that I have to say this and then everyone squanders for dinner, belive me they don't squander to bad there is alot of food in the friguator....I just would like if someone would take the responsibility so I don't have to worry about it........but no one plans.....they are all last minute and it drives me crazy... and when I get mad, which is obvious, but no one will take the time to speak to me. they just scatter and go slowly with the flow, which I mean, they hang out and make sure my spouse has something to drink or eat and then they watch tv, play computer or games and hang out, but by no means to they come to me in my room to talk to me. I have "Literally" stared at my bedroom wall for 3 to 5 hours awaiting for someone to come in and pay attention to me, but nobody comes, they wait till the endof the night at mavbe 10pm (this started at 10am) and ask how Im doing, ... which is bullshit to me... Tell me what and I suppose to do They are all (my family) dysfunckionaland I get screwed in the long run, Ive spoken to them about it and they just don't change............what Ive done recently which is tonite is that they have all my responsibilities or you could call them my "chores" and they are gonna walk in my shoes so to speak so that they can discern what is going on....I don't know how long it will take, but there gonna do it....... Its tough for me cause Im a giver, but Im going to care for my hubby, while they do everything else , which include balanceing my checking account, paying bills, buyng grocieres and planning and organizing their eduacation and then lets see..... why I have all the outrages I have.......they are gonna walk in my shoes and I hope that they will figure that all 3 of them can't do my job, Im a one women show, and they are 3.........I hope God will show them, why Im so stressed. I will tell you Ive been in a place where I just want to commit sucide and just get it over with, I fell like Im a slave to my family "literally" . their actions when I share my feelings is like they don't care..........is ridiculous, I know they can grow but come on..if im ready to take my life they shud be more serious that i fell this way and they don't.
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3rd of all, ask for respite care...cuz u need a break and ask ur church for help..talk about long term care if he needs it. If you do not want to it then they will send you a caregiver that u can interview until ur comfortable with the right one . You are dealing with hardship with the severity of ur husband's stroke and then 3 grown children that feel that they are entitled. You can apply for food stamps and tanf also in ur state. Check around there are resources but i say except for the 17 yr old kick 20 and 22 out tell them to get off their lazy asses if they hate u for it ...then continue to love them....they either help you or they go. Ill be praying for u ...you can do it ...it will be tough as hell but it needs to be done. And cut off their means of luxury like their high prices games and fancy cell phones etc. They are doing this cuz they know u are in real vulernable situation and TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU. Ur family is not pulling together as it should and ur are bearing the heavy price of it all. Get therapy for urself so u can vent to someone who is not a family member.. Getting anger does help but I can tell ya PUT UR FOOT DOWN NO MORE NICE MOMMA DO IT U RAISED NOW SHOW THEM UR DONE PLAYING THEIR GAMES.
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I think some form of tough love is the answer. And this for you is difficult as you are just exhausted, so trying to figure out how to get them to help feels like one more thing you and only you have to figure out. But it shouldn't be just you to figure it out. Just thinking about it is tiring. How about a family meeting and you express your concerns and feelings. Lay your cards on the table. Maybe ask them to come up with a schedule of chores they must all take part in. I'm in the midst of trying to accomplish this myself with my three. Fortunately, my oldest "gets it" and helps so much; but she starts to become resentful of the other two and I understand this. I was never one much for family meetings, but they can be beneficial.
YOU NEED A BREAK!!!! You need to do something for yourself. You are a wonderful mother and wife. It's good you vented on this forum. I'm hoping and praying you can resolve this with your children. Blessings to you.