If my dad went into a nursing home would they consider both daughters needs for him?

My sister is 3 years older than me. My father is 94, deaf, blind and has arthritis in knees. He can just about cook for himself, dress. My elder sister 65 has taken control and wants to do everything herself. I am 62 have taken dad to lots of hospital appointments but my sister wants dad to go to nursing home near to herself and I have explained that it needs to be near to both of us. My husband is recovering from tumour removed from pancreatris and also hernia in same area. I also help dad, cut his hair, finger nails, sort his medication out every week, she does his shopping and fortnightly wash his sheets. When dad has gone to hospital she has told me the last minute or not at all. Social Worker said he wants to cook for himself and doesnt want to go into home. He wants to live with one of us. I have told him I cannot look after him because of my husbands illness. My sister doesnt want to have him live with her because when my mother died in 1982 he stayed with her for 6 weeks (he was 65) nearly split her marriage up. I am very tired of the situation and know that dad will do anything she says. Can you help. On forms she always put elder daughter when information required because she doesn't want me to be recognised as being daughter.