Being caregiver for my husband and working full time, taking care of the house, dogs, bills, etc, isn't there an easier way?

Hi CarolA, Just seeing these posts now. My man had a stroke one year ago and I am his caregiver with 2 part time jobs, and a new entrepreneurial business. From my experience, the more I said I needed to help him or that he needed me to help him the more I had to help him. He lost his manhood as your husband has. He is only part of a man. Every little thing he does needs to be praised and applauded. I know that you are doing so much and no one is praising or applauding you but still this is what you must consider doing. The more he hears from you that he can do one little thing to help you and you are so appreciative he will want to do more. He can do more but it is so much easier to give up. You can expect more from him in a gentle way and he just might surprise you. My man has diabetes, heart disease, lupus and a stroke that left him paralyzed on the right. He is outside right now using the 4 wheeler to bring some wood to the house (something he always loved to do). I got the 4 wheeler altered so the throttle is on the left and not the right. And, I learned to leave him be - so hard to not hover over him to make sure he is okay. If he falls, I help him to get up but I can't prevent him from falling - doing so would take away his dignity. Please try to understand that he is suffering so many losses as you are.

How about an adult daycare? These are becoming very popular and it will engage your husband either a couple times a week or Monday - Friday.

How old is your husband? Check to see if you have a "Senior Options" office in your city. They have volunteers that will come and "visit" someone for a few hours, maybe this will help. Maybe he could still do the checks with the help of a bed table if he is in the bed, or a tray if he is in a wheelchair....just to make him feel useful again. I'm sure losing a leg, does take some getting used to, and takes time to start feeling better, but you need to take care of yourself too.

These are all good ideas . You might also think about getting a geriatric care manager to help you organize, prioritize and find resources to help you . I do this daily and just having a plan can help decrease your stress.

sounds like your husband is felling sorry for himself. sorry to say that. but if he is not bed ridden, then he needs to help you with things he can do in the shape he is in now. is he a vet? there are tons of help for vets you just got to call them... there are free help out there to.if he has ins. no money out of your pocket. get on line and ck out all the help there is. you need to take the pressure of you or you both are headed for a nurseing home.. thats how i find help on line .its how i found this sight and you. what a big help you all are for me. thank you.....

I am sure you feel overwhelmed? Is it possible for you to work maybe part time?. Could you get some help to do some of the housework and lawn mowing? Maybe a neighbor child would help with the dogs... I know my son would! If your husband requires some "care" can you get a home care agency on board to help? I am just think do you have a church family who would help with some things? Churches can be a good resource for help with many things. We provide meals for families all the time from our church. Even if they only did it once or twice a week that could be helpful. take care, you are NOT alone, many of us care for you.

There are days I am happy and can handle things well,, there are days I want to scream or cry... Its hard not to have different emotions.. Can you call a care person to help you a few times a week to help with house and maybe feed or walk dog... Or maybe you can get a young child to take care of dog for you for a few dollars them might love it.. Sorry its hard... I know my family is not close and mom is elderly,, handicapped and right now I am wanting to cry.... But we have to make the best of it babe,, sorry..

I get it. Maybe it's time to bring in some help either paid or volunteered? Do you have a church family that can give you some help? Reach out to some one. People can't read your mind, so if you've got a friend that will help you, tell her.

Nancy, Thanks for your quick response..I should have mentioned before that he is trying to do more on his own, but several years ago he came down with an autoimmune disorder and he has no sight in his right eye either. But now after I read your email again...he still has good vision in his left eye and use of his arms too. I just feel overwhelmed. that's all

Is there anything else wrong with your husband besides losing one of his legs? I mean if he still has a brain, can't he do the bills? Can't he feed the dogs? Unless he's totally incapacitated, I don't know why he can't still pitch in and help. His life isn't over yet right?