What do you say to a person with dementia who keeps asking questions about a 10 year deceased spouse?

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SCHLUEDE Asked July 2012

What do you say to a person with dementia who keeps asking questions about a 10 year deceased spouse?

I called my Mom the other night. I asked her what she had for dinner. Her response"I have not had dinner yet. i am waiting for Earl. He is late and must have stopped off at church" Earl is my dad who died 10 years ago. Do I say Mom Dad died 10 years ago or do I let her sit there waiting for him to "show up" . this is happening more and more I don't know what is the best thing to do for her.

Family Caregiver

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Your bio says your Mom lives in AL. Can't they help? But what to say to her??-- How about, Mom, I'm pretty sure this is the night Dad had to --- work late? Go to a ___ meeting? Play cards? (Whatever would have been appropriate for him to do that would make him late. ) Each day is a new adventure. My Mom is convinced that one of the residents in her AL is her (long deceased) brother. I just go along with it, it's her reality and it makes her happy to have her sibs around.

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What do you say to a person with dementia who keeps asking questions about a 10 year deceased spouse?

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