How do you deal with an Alzheimer patient who is not the terminal one? Explaining to my Dad that Mom is dying is difficult.

I'm so glad your Dad was able to visit your Mom - does the heart good. It's good they are living in same facility so that it is easier to take him to see her. I know this is difficult, but as the old expression says, one day at a time. You are doing all the right things and taking wonderful care of your parents. Hugs to you and take care.

Thanks. Today turned out better than I thought possible. Mom was discharged from the hospital after a weeks stay end moved into Skilled Nursing under Hospice. I took Dad down to see her (he's in Assisted Living-same facility). I didn't tell him how much was failing, just felt better that they got to see each other. She woke up briefly to say hi. Hospice nurse agreed no reason to tell him too much yet. My heart is lifted - at least temporarily. Thanks for your response.

My heart goes out to you as this is extremely difficult. Maybe it is best not to tell him that she is dying as he is not going to remember it. I had a different situation with my MIL when she was living with us with alzheimers. My FIL had died 10 years before, but as the alz. progressed she was suddenly thinking he was alive and said she had called him and he was coming to pick her up and take her home. This was heartbreaking. When she first started thinking this, we thoughtfully tried to explain that he was gone; but when we realized she could not remember; we just tried to change the subject as it does hurt them each time you tell them, because to them it is the first they have heard of it.

When my MIL started getting agitated by this, the doctor put her on low dose anti-anxiety meds and this helped a lot. This is a very sad time and so difficult. Blessings to you and take care.