My mom had one spot on her chin that had a bristly hair that would grow. When she was with it, she would pluck it. As she has progessed in dementia/AZ she has mindlessly picked until she had a quarter sized sore on her chin. We tried to get it zapped but the electrolysis only works if you still have pigment in the hair. We instructed the ALF to keep it covered with neosporin and a bandaid. This way when she went to pick, she would realize that she had a booboo and she eventually stopped. We try to catch the hair before it begins to pester her.
I don't know if you got help for this yet. I hope so but here is some advice from someone who knows...
As people get older, their skin gets drier which makes it itchy and uncomfortable so it could be something as simple as needing a good hydrating lotion.
Second, it could be related to a medication your mom takes that makes her itchy. Not necessarily an allergy but some meds do have that side effect so check them all out on-line or get an annual drug book that gives information on medications, what they are for, usual dose, side effects, etc. Don't rely on your doctor, your pharmacist or a friend for accurate information. Even they do not know all the side effects. I have unusual ones so half the time it is not mentioned in the pharmacy printout (the manufacturers information is way better IF you can get one from the pharmacist or even the manufacturer.) When you take several meds that have itchy skin as a side effect, it may be tricky to narrow it down but usually there is a med that can replace the one that itches you with another that treats the same problem.
Third, be sure that the condition is looked at by the doctor before assuming it is "just nerves". She may be allergic and need some benadryl or a good topical itch creme. That can help until/unless you can pin point what it causing it.
My last suggestion is, if the doctor says it is NOT a physical problem, ask about a referral to a psychiatrist (not a psychologist as she may need meds and only a psychiatrist can prescribe one). You've probably heard of obsessive-compulsive behavior which can cause a person to act out a repetitive action when they are under stress. This can be nail-biting, hair twisting or something simple or it can be counting things over and over or washing your hands or closing the door a certain number of times or something much more serious. The person doing it usually is aware they are doing it but not why or how to stop. It is a psychiatric disease and can be something so small it is not even noticeable to others. I can also be something the person is deeply ashamed of and will attempt to hide it or do it only in private. There are meds that can help but often that goes hand in hand with therapy especially in a case with a recent major stressor such as loss of a child is involved.
In my case, I have both conditions that cause intense itching anywhere on my body as well as the feeling of spiders crawling on your skin and also take a couple of meds that make the skin itch like mad. I'm sure it would be a big relief for both of you to have a handle on this. Then she won't feel like you are nagging her and you won't feel like she could stop if she really wanted to. Time to let the professionals take over and if one doesn't satisfy you, keep looking until you get the answers and possibly meds, your mom needs. Good luck to both of you.
Look up NCS, used to be called Morgellons and treated as crazy...for a hundred years was called something like imaginary parasites. Not saying this is your answer. But it now is called Neuro cutaneous Syndrome, and you can read about it on website of Dr. Amin Amir, Parasitology clinic, Scottsdale.
This is something I've done since I was very young. In my understanding, it is closely related to cutting, or self-abuse. In my experience, I've been able to stop doing it for a period of time, but when stress gets really heavy, I tend to resume the bad habit. In order to keep it in check, I must remain mindful and remind myself that this is NOT acceptable behavior and that it only serves to make me feel worse about myself, etc. It is a very tough habit to break, but can be done with a desire to overcome the habit & learn to let go of old behaviors and self-hate.
My mother does the same thing. Drs. believe it is a nervous habit and she does scratch worse when trying to carry on a conversation. She has dementia and I think she does it to help herself concentrate as she talks. Anyway, we bought several pairs of stretchy gloves for her to wear in the house. When she starts getting nervous and excited, (ie. visitors, etc. visiting), and the scratching starts, we just give her the gloves and she puts them on. She stops digging, and just rubs her arms, forehead, whatever. A lot less damage done that way and it seems to help remind her not to dig at her skin. Hope this helps.
Have you talked to the doctor about this? It sounds like she's having nervous system problems. Something is bothering her and she's trying to stop it. Maybe the doctor can prescribe an anti-anxiety medication to help relieve it. The only other thing I can think of is to clip her nails regularly. It won't stop it but it might reduce the severity. Let us know how this goes. I understand the stress this is putting on you but you may not have any control over it.
This happened to my motherinlaw. The only thing that had changed since she started doing this was she started her water pill every day instead of every other day. I don't know if there is any correlation with this. But her kidney function couldn't tolerate the higher water pill and when she went back to every other day she seemed to pick less.Telling her she could introduce bacteria into her bloodstream did no good. She'd say its my body and I can do whatever I like to it. So frustrating... she actually dug through her thumbnail and made a hole into her skin beneath. She'd dig a growth on her forehead so we put a dot bandaid on it to remind her not to do it! It is a puzzlement!
This happened to my motherinlaw. The only thing that had changed since she started doing this was she started her water pill every day instead of every other day. I don't know if there is any correlation with this. But her kidney function couldn't tolerate the higher water pill and when she went back to every other day she seemed to pick less.Telling her she could introduce bacteria into her bloodstream did no good. She'd say its my body and I can do whatever I like to it. So frustrating... she actually dug through her thumbnail and made a hole into her skin beneath. She'd dig a growth on her forehead so we put a dot bandaid on it to remind her not to do it! It is a puzzlement!
Oh... one more thing. As you present her with alternatives (it will most likely come down to one so dont get discouraged in the process of finding what the one will be) do it in a way thats light. For instance... I saw this at the store and I thought it was nice so I wanted you to have it ... or present it to her as a gift... and of course with a smile so that the item has your loving touch added to its being... mention how soft or swishy it is or anything else that will help her identify with it in a positive way.
I've know of similar situations where it was a nervous habit and trying to figure out something else she can use to redirect the urge has been helpful.
Something small that fit comfortably in her hand that she can keep with her so that she can fiddle with. Worry beads. An eggsercizer hand exercise ball. A small stuffed animal that has different textures. Does she like to crochet or knit?
Unfortunately I don't think that anything you can say or do is going to solve this problem. It is "nerves" that is causing this and your mother needs to be seen by a doctor who can help her deal with her anxieties.
Try to understand that your mother cannot help this behavior. She is not doing it in order to effect you in a certain way, or to annoy your dad. If she could stop, she would. Make sure that your mother knows that you love her and accept her, scars and all. You'd like this problem solved for her own happiness and you are willing to help if there is anything you could do.
I think that the best thing you and your dad could do would be to encourage Mom to get professional help for her "nerves." She could start with her primary care provider, and may get a referal to a spcialist. When a professional has put together a treatment plan, there may (or may not) be ways for you to participate.
She is just always picking and says she cant help it she doesnt have any kind of skin condition or anything like that she blames it on her nerves but its so bad that she has scars all over her body an she is ashamd of it but she still does it an i try my hardest to get her to stop an tell her how it effects me but she just goes an hides an does it its makin her an my dad fight and it has got worse since my little sister passed away but i just dont kno what to do about it anymore..i really dont know what else to say about it
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As people get older, their skin gets drier which makes it itchy and uncomfortable so it could be something as simple as needing a good hydrating lotion.
Second, it could be related to a medication your mom takes that makes her itchy. Not necessarily an allergy but some meds do have that side effect so check them all out on-line or get an annual drug book that gives information on medications, what they are for, usual dose, side effects, etc. Don't rely on your doctor, your pharmacist or a friend for accurate information. Even they do not know all the side effects. I have unusual ones so half the time it is not mentioned in the pharmacy printout (the manufacturers information is way better IF you can get one from the pharmacist or even the manufacturer.) When you take several meds that have itchy skin as a side effect, it may be tricky to narrow it down but usually there is a med that can replace the one that itches you with another that treats the same problem.
Third, be sure that the condition is looked at by the doctor before assuming it is "just nerves". She may be allergic and need some benadryl or a good topical itch creme. That can help until/unless you can pin point what it causing it.
My last suggestion is, if the doctor says it is NOT a physical problem, ask about a referral to a psychiatrist (not a psychologist as she may need meds and only a psychiatrist can prescribe one). You've probably heard of obsessive-compulsive behavior which can cause a person to act out a repetitive action when they are under stress. This can be nail-biting, hair twisting or something simple or it can be counting things over and over or washing your hands or closing the door a certain number of times or something much more serious. The person doing it usually is aware they are doing it but not why or how to stop. It is a psychiatric disease and can be something so small it is not even noticeable to others. I can also be something the person is deeply ashamed of and will attempt to hide it or do it only in private. There are meds that can help but often that goes hand in hand with therapy especially in a case with a recent major stressor such as loss of a child is involved.
In my case, I have both conditions that cause intense itching anywhere on my body as well as the feeling of spiders crawling on your skin and also take a couple of meds that make the skin itch like mad. I'm sure it would be a big relief for both of you to have a handle on this. Then she won't feel like you are nagging her and you won't feel like she could stop if she really wanted to. Time to let the professionals take over and if one doesn't satisfy you, keep looking until you get the answers and possibly meds, your mom needs. Good luck to both of you.
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In my experience, I've been able to stop doing it for a period of time, but when stress gets really heavy, I tend to resume the bad habit.
In order to keep it in check, I must remain mindful and remind myself that this is NOT acceptable behavior and that it only serves to make me feel worse about myself, etc.
It is a very tough habit to break, but can be done with a desire to overcome the habit & learn to let go of old behaviors and self-hate.
Something small that fit comfortably in her hand that she can keep with her so that she can fiddle with. Worry beads. An eggsercizer hand exercise ball. A small stuffed animal that has different textures. Does she like to crochet or knit?
Try to understand that your mother cannot help this behavior. She is not doing it in order to effect you in a certain way, or to annoy your dad. If she could stop, she would. Make sure that your mother knows that you love her and accept her, scars and all. You'd like this problem solved for her own happiness and you are willing to help if there is anything you could do.
I think that the best thing you and your dad could do would be to encourage Mom to get professional help for her "nerves." She could start with her primary care provider, and may get a referal to a spcialist. When a professional has put together a treatment plan, there may (or may not) be ways for you to participate.
Good luck to you all.
Please provide a little more information. Perhaps someone else can tell how they dealt with a similar situation, if we know more about it.