My father is in a nursing home. Can my sister, legal guardian, be paid for time off from work to visit him?

Kathy, it seems to me that paying for her time when she was doing guardian duties made sense, and not paying her for every visit now makes sense. I don't know if you live close enough to be visiting the NH, but I don't think you should be paid for every visit, either. All of you can/should make "from the heart" visits, without pay.

If you can work out something with Guardian Sis, such as 2 paid visits a month, that would be a simple solution. If this doesn't seem adequate to GS, maybe she can explain what she does there that is different from the visits other family and friends make. There may be some advocating and monitoring she does that you are not aware of. If you can all agree on a reasonable arrangement, that would certainly be better than dragging lawyers into it.

I think you are quite realistic in identifying the bottom-line issue here. Any money spent out of the estate now reduces the amount you each will inherit. Is it "fair" for GS to get money now and all of you get less later? Well, yes it is, to the extent that she is earning that money. But the question legitimately arises as to whether all of her visits are in her capacity as guardian.

If you can all agree to some guidelines that would certainly be best for your long-term family relationships. If possible, I would hope the disscusions about this could avoid judgemental or accusatory statements.

Good luck!

Do you want to stop this??? cause you can, you can get a lawyer and stop it. it can be done no doubt about it..i know i have been thru it if he is in a nursing there is no need for her to be paid when he is being casre for in a facility,

The money comes out of his assets. It is a big difference, I agree, but still there seems there should be guidelines. His net worth is not much and my mother and he would want any estate money to go to the 3 siblings, not my sister. Essentially, the money would pay for my sister's needs not my father's. He is very happy in general, and where is is wonderful -- I even think he doesn't enjoy her visits very much. She doesn't need to go there to fulfill guardianship obligations, just her own needs. She has been charging for lost work time when she needed to for 7 years which was fine when she was actually taking him to the MD, etc. But now she is not needed for these things, there is a staff dr. there and very good nurses, even radiology and lab. I think we can work out something for now, for instance 2 paid visits per month,, but I think that confuses the issue of visitng from the heart. She is well off and can afford the gas money to drive 30 miles. Sorry for the long letter, and thanks for any responses, Kathy

A BIG DIFFERENCE

Is the money coming out of your father's assets? Or is the family chipping in for this expense? I think that makes a difference.