How do you cope when the patient is difficult, confused and defiant?

I'm assuming your husband has dementia. He can't "reason" anymore. That's what makes it hard. There's really no use trying to be logical. Distracting him and re-directing him to some other activity are about the only solutions. I know that isn't easy when he's determined. But that is the nature of the disease. Please try to remember that it's the disease, not your husband, who is being illogical. Arguing will do no good and may backfire by distressing him and making him more determined. It's time to get creative about distraction techniques. Try contacting your Alzheimer's Association for guidance.
Take care,
Carol