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ANDREA56 Asked July 2012

Can you have the talk about the end of live with someone that has dementia?

my father has Dimentia and is saying that he want.'s to die. he has stop talking with us, he will only answer if we ask him something. lately he tell to just leave him alone that he is tired and he just want to die

martydotcom Jul 2012
With the limited info you've provided any sort of definitive response is impossible: options include MD visit for anti depressant meds, referral to Hospice if appropriate, talk & plan with Elder Law specialist if he's capable or respect his wishes and do whatever you can to ease his passing

Dirk Jul 2012
It is a good question. The answers will vary for each person. I have told the family that when I say I want to die just give me water and let me go. I'll be gone in about 28 days. My wife has dementia and has not stated her wishes so I give her every encouragement I can. I've told her that if I go before her I will wait for her to catch up, and if the situation is reversed then I'd like her to do the same for me. If you believe in life after death, then think of all the old relatives and friends you are going to meet. And if you don't believe that then think of all the wonderful memories you have given those you leave behind. In some small way, we are all part of what has gone on before and what has yet to come. At least that's how I see it.

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philipseth Jul 2012
My mother like Darcy123's mother is too far gone to understand much of anything. M y mother responds to body language, touches and facial expressions. She is also deaf which makes communicating doubly difficult as her lip-reading skills (the only one she possesses) are fading too. I would like to suggest that there is no harm in trying to address the subject. Only you know what might work with your father. You will have broached the subject. If at first he doesn't agree or understand, perhaps wait for a moment when you think he might be more open to listening. Keep at it without beating him or yourself up. We can but try. That is all any of us can do. I hope you find peace.

Darcy123 Jul 2012
I think you are asking if you can get a living will set up for him? Like what to do in case of a stroke, heart attack? I would say at this point the family/doctor has to just do the best they can.... I don't think I would take to heart what MY mom would say at this point!! First of all, MY mom can't comprehend a lot, she can't stay focused, she doesn't have a grip on reality. A lot depends on how far along the dementia is. For MY mom, she really doesn't have ANY lucid moments anymore. I don't know how your dad is.

Noleslover Jul 2012
My uncle said the same thing when he was diagnosed. He wants to just stay in bed and sleep all the time. He is scared. I would be too. Get help. A mild antidepressant may help. Is he on any meds for dementia? Seek help from a professional. Do this quickly before his condition worsens. It will be like nothing you have ever seen before. We can all attest to that.

ladee1 Jul 2012
I'm not clear on what you are asking... are you asking to know what his wishes are ? How long has he had Dementia, how old is he, does he have other health issues???? All I could suggest at this point without more information, is a possible visit to his Dr, and a talk about getting him on some anti depressants... possibly if you can give us more info, we may be able to help..... let us know how things are....

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