What else is there out there that I can apply to in order to get some help?

There are two great articles written by AgingCare.com editor’s that were already posted in our community. We thought this might answer your caregiving question.

LINK:
“10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents.”
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/10-Government-Programs-Caregivers-Can-Access-for-Their-Elderly-Parents-120513.htm

and

“How Can I Get Paid for taking Care of My Elderly Parents?”
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-get-paid-for-being-a-caregiver-135476.htm

We hope this helps. Please let us know if you need anything else and we look forward to seeing more questions and discussions from you.

As the spouse of a man on Medicaid I can tell you that the situation where one spouse is well and "in the community" and the other needs financial assisstance is very challenging. The programs barely adequately cover the spouses living together in the community, or one spouse in a nursing home and the other in the community -- I'm sure they were not set up to handle both spouses in the community, but in separate homes! So your situation, Asil63, must be hard to fit into the various rules. Keep hunting ... there might be something that fits.

Giving up a job to take care of someone is certainly going to have severe financial implications. Not only do you have less money coming in each month, you are not building credits for your own retirement, and you give up benefits such as health insurance. It's tough.

Does Dad have assets? Property, stocks, investments, life insurance, etc.? Selling assets to pay for his care would make sense now.

How old is Dad? Is he likely to need care for the next few years or the next few decades?

Why is he living with you? Is his wife unable to care for him? Are they estranged? Is there any expectation that he'll go back to his house when he is stable? I guess that is nosey, but it would clarify the situation a little.

How does your husband feel about going from 2 incomes to support 2 adults to 1 income to support 3 adults?

How is this impacting your ability to pay your own way in your own old age?

Could you provide a little more information about the relationship between your dad and his wife? If he is not living with her, is it fair that she should get the lion's share of the pay? Does she need the house, or could they perhaps sell it? Does she have any income of her own separate from him? I'm sure that the state is simply took into account typical situations when they wrote the rules. Governments don't allow for too much bending of the rules.

Is your father a veteran of a foreign war? If he is, it is one potential avenue for receiving financial assistance. Let us know a bit more and someone may be able to help.

I'm not sure about anything specific, but you could check with your state's department of human resources. I think they'd be able to help you find something you'd qualify for.