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allaloneinthis Asked August 2012

I live in Florida where we may get hit by "Isaac", a forecasted cat.1 hurricane. How can I get mom to leave her home and come to mine?

My mom refuses to leave her condo even in the event of this hurricane. I am not comfortable having her stay there alone during the storm but is there any way that I can actually make her come to my house? I would stay by her, but I have no doubt that her building will lose power as it has many times during a severe thunderstorm. I don't think it is wise for us to remain there with no a/c, lights, no tv and no refrigerator when my home is less likely to lose power. She is adamant and I believe that it will be unsafe for her/us to stay there. There are no other family members for her to stay with. Any suggestions would be welcome.

lildeb Sep 2012
That is a lot of water n when some places have such a drought like we do here n it just rains forever that is when trees just start to tumble over. Of course rain like that you need a canoe. Hopefully, the rain will stop for yall.

igloo572 Sep 2012
Madge1 - well Issac just goes to show that the whole Cat 1 - Cat 5 doesn't cover it all, now does it? In so many ways I'm glad that FL was on the dirty side of Issac and Tampa/St Pete got rain/surge/flooding while RNC was there so that folks from landlocked parts of the US hopefully got to feel what hurricanes can do and how wide the area that is affected is. And this was barely a Cat 1 storm.

libdeb - Issac made landfall in Plaquemine's parish which is south of New Orleans and is the mouth of the Mississippi then tracked slightly west of NOLA and headed up through Jefferson Parish towards Baton Rouge (this is very much like what H. Gustave did - which was a Cat 3). Issac moved really really slow, like at one point was only moving a 8 mph so imagine how much more rain when that's the speed as opposed to a storm moving at 30 mph. The bands of rain went from the Florida keys to Florida panhandle and all along the AL and MS coastal areas to west to New Iberia, LA and so there has been a huge surge on the Gulf coast and much more water from rain from 3 days over a big area which is why there was flooding and overtopping of rivers and levee's and dams like what happened at Quin State Park which is up in McComb, MS and pretty far from the coast. Many rivers are just cresting today (sunday 9/2). We got rain starting about noon on Tuesday & it rained in bands continuously till Thurs afternoon, that's alot of water no matter how you look at it so at some point the ground is saturated & then it floods.

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lildeb Sep 2012
I thought it hit Mobile Alabama as well?

palmtrees1 Aug 2012
Wow! 18 inches of rain in Wellington Flordia (west of West Palm Beach). We got 10 inches of rain. I had very minimal flooding in my garage. Never saw that before.

No, some people did not heed the warnings in New Orleans. Unfortunate.

My husband's family went through Hurricane Andrew. Believe me, if I ever hear of a Cat4 or 5 heading my way, I will be on I-95 heading north as fast as I can. I don't need anyone to try and talk me into leaving. I have seen what a Cat 4 or 5 can do and it isn't pretty.

Take care.

lildeb Aug 2012
Seems like it hit Louisana again, hopefully everyone living their took shelter n r safe.

allaloneinthis Aug 2012
I have been watching the storm reports for the gulf areas and I just wanted to say that I hope you all keep safe and make it through swiftly and with no damage. Good luck...my thoughts and prayers are with you.

195Austin Aug 2012
I hope all of you in he path of the storm stay safe. May God give you extra strength.

lildeb Aug 2012
I do hope everyone that near the storm to be safe as much as possible. I talk to my folks earlier n Floridia n they r getting bands of rain. Hopefully this hurricane will die down soon before it hits Louisana. They already evaluated people in Mobile Al earlier today.

Meowserkat Aug 2012
Thank you, allalone...we've been watching the advisories and see that some areas have really gotten pounded...now, it seems we are the center of the bullseye..darn it! I hope your area has calmed down, as we begin that long wait for it to start. The stores were insane today...and Monday is Mamma's day for me to do her errands and groceries. Tomorrow by this time..we should be facing the eye of the storm...or at least know if we are a direct hit or not! Hope life is returning to some semblance of normal for you and Madge, who also seems to be caught up in this crazy weather!

allaloneinthis Aug 2012
Madge1, I've been having the same weather and same thoughts...much worse out today than yesterday. It just stopped coming down and I hope it stays that way. Thanks for your post and you, too, stay safe and dry!

palmtrees1 Aug 2012
Allalone, I don't know if you guys are getting this unbelievable rain, but since about 11:30 this morning, we are getting pounded. About 7 inches and more. There is some kind of training going on with the feeder bands. I have never seen such rain. Be careful going out and don't drive through the standing water. It will ruin your car. And I thought it would be better today than yesterday. Not so. It is thundering as I speak and has been since late last night. Enough already!!!

allaloneinthis Aug 2012
Meowserkat, I will certainly say a prayer for you. Thank you for your post and I hope that you (your family) and mom fare well. Be safe - and at least your laundry is done (I did the same)!

Meowserkat Aug 2012
Very timely question, allalone...because as I sit here I am washing as much laundry as I can...gotta be prepared for loss of power, as Isaac now seems to have his eye on us! My mother is a 93 year old stroke survivor who doesn't like to leave her home. I understand her dilemma, as she has special bath and toilet equipment that she needs...also uses a walker and transport chair for any distance. She, also, does not like to come to my house. My bathroom is too small to accomodate her equipment, and she doesn't like the fact that I have pets inside. I do have good window protection and she doesn't. It's very difficult to try to evacuate with her as she tires so easily. Oftentimes, rooms can't be found unless one is willing or able to make a 5 or more hour drive. So, tomorrow I will be faced with that same question...do I go to Mamma's and we 'hunker down' in her hall...the only area without windows....or do I try to find an alternate solution. I just wish this storm would go away...day to day life has enough challenges without having to deal with a storm and the aftermath. So, allalone....you really aren't alone after all! There are many of us sharing the same worries, concerns...issues, and disasters! I'm hoping you fared well! Please say a prayer for us.

Survived2 Aug 2012
What vickig said.

allaloneinthis Aug 2012
I should really explain my previous post. I don't want anyone to think thar I am not worried about her not answering the phone...I am, but she has been refusing to answer it for days because she thinks we are stealing from her and are trying to "put her away". Neither is true. She is misplacing things and blaming me and when I took her to the doctor on Tues, she thought he was trying to put her in a nh and was in cahoots with me. Not true. Therefore, since she is paranoid and accusatory, she won't let me in or answer my calls.

allaloneinthis Aug 2012
Thank you so much for your posts. Both my mom and I live in Broward County and, thankfully, the storm has not been too bad so far and they say we are out of the worst of it. My mother wouldn't answer the phone to me, my son, my daughter nor her nephew. I don't know if she has power at this time but since it wasn't too bad I am thinking she probably does. That was really my main concern. I think her building is strong (it survived Wilma) but I was worried that she could fall if there were no lights and she had to have a flashlight in one hand while using her walker. There is no generator power in the Bldg. I am leaning towards calling the police non emergency number to make a well check on her since she won't answer the phone or let me in. I really appreciate the advice and i hope you guys in Palm Beach aren't experiencing too badly either.

igloo572 Aug 2012
Allalone - well it's now Sunday 8/26 so this post may be too late but unless she is in the FL panhandle Issac as a Cat 2 is going to be a bother but not a real worry. It's probably going to make landfall well west of Florida Tues PM/Wed AM. Madge1 take on this is spot-on in about building safety & dealing the power outage and how that can be a real issue. Anything build post H. Andrew has 140 mph wind codes and can hold up to Cat 1-3. The rain bands will be constant for the next couple of days but most of the Florida lower west coast (from Destin down) will get maybe 2 - 3 of surge which isn't that high as you have seawalls & lots of rain. If she is west FL panhandle or lower AL or MS gulf coast and I bet there will probably be voluntary land evacuation & mandatory harbor evacuation for those zones starting early (Monday). So if you live in that area I'd get her as you won't be able to get to her easily for a couple of days. Looks like Issac is coming in as a Cat 2 with 5 - 12 ft surge starting with high tide on Tuesday with either Biloxi or Pass Christian or New Orleans East (Michoud) as landfall. If you feel the need to weather watch, weatherunderground, www.wunderground.com is a great site and very logical and consistent with out the media hysterics. We sail and so keep up with this.

martydotcom Aug 2012
I live ocean front in a condo on Paln Beach. I am under the impression that Fl law reqires condos have an emergency generator to facilitate evacuation. O too live thru Frances, Jranne Irene, Wilma. It will take a lot more than a cat 2 to damage a concrete building upgraded with hurricane glass windows and a generator to drive sump pumps.

Gloworm4u Aug 2012
Say Mom, We are going to go out to eat but you must spend the night with me. Then when she spends the night check the weather. if its bad dont travel back until police and weather says so!. I know its sneaky but it may save her life. God works in Myterious ways! You didn't lie !lol!

palmtrees1 Aug 2012
Hi allalone, I live slightly north of Palm Beach. We went through two hurricanes in 04, within two weeks of each other. I can tell you a Cat 2 is not going to destroy a well built home or condo. I went through hurrican Irene a Cat 1 years ago. It was nothing as far as wind, but the flooding was very bad in some areas. As of right now, we have not received enough rain to even worry about flooding. Are you in the Keys? I would be a bit concerned because they are so small and low lying. The tidal surge could flood many areas.

My biggest concern for you mother would be the terror these storms can create. When we got hit by hurricanes Francis and Jean, it was terrifying. The winds howled, I thought my windows were going to blow out since I had, at that time, no shutters. We do now. But all in all we did fine.

Afterwards, if power is gone, the heat is just unbelievable. Ugh! I think if your mother is in an area where she is likely to lose power and experience frightening winds, she would be much better with you. Just for her peace of mind. She needs family. Do your best to get her to stay with you.

anonymous100919 Aug 2012
First, as a person living in a hurricane zone also, no one ever really knows where it will hit (until the last couple of days) and who and how one will be affected. You can get bypassed by the direct hit, but the peripherial winds, rain etc can affect you just as bad. Also depends on building structure. Some older better built condos did better than some brand new homes back when Andrew hit. But obviously you have assessed the situation and determined she is not going to be safe there alone. I don't personally face this issue b/c I live with the family member I care for, but I thought of the following:

1) Does the condo send out notices to residents advising them of what to do if a storm approaches, etc? Does the notice say anything that would support your argument to her that it is safer to leave?
2) What has she done in the past when power went out? If it was not a pleasant situation for her, can you remind her? Could you visit her before the storm hits (depending on where you are, this may be too late) , turn off her electricity breakers and tell her, mom, since the power is out, we need to leave now?
3) If your only fear is power outage (unless she lives on a high floor where you oculdn't get her out if elevator not working), maybe one of your family should stay with her and then help her leave after the storm hits if power did go out.
4) If all else fails, and you have no one to stay with her. Ask her neighbors what their plans are and if they can watch out for her, leave her with suffiicent food medicine and personal and emergency powerouttage supplies (and if you live in an H zone you know what they are)
5) if it is really bad, see if local law enforcement will pay her a visit and tell her she must go with you.

VickiG Aug 2012
I would tell her that everyone is evacuating by order of the police and if she doesn't come along with you, she will end up in some shelter, taken there by someone she doesn't know. She will ride out the storm in the shelter with strangers who may "rob" her etc. and be stuck there until someone decides that it is safe for people to return to their homes. This is called "creative persuasion." LOL!

NancyH Aug 2012
Allalone, I just re-read one or your other posts, the one where you said your mother is accusing you of stealing etc? Your mother sounds like she does have dementia, so how is it that she can make a logical decision about staying in a place that may get hit with a hurricane? Also, if she is forgetting where she puts things or hiding them because she thinks they are going to be stolen, then forgets where her little hidey hole is, then it makes sense as to why she REFUSES to leave her home. She's afraid someone is going to come in there and steal her blind just as soon as she leaves. Your mother shouldn't be calling the shots at this point, in my opinion. Eventually you know, she's going to HAVE to move into a place that can help her with the progression of dementia, and all the stuff that goes along with it. But if she won't get out of the way NOW from a hurricane that's barreling down on her, you will have to dynamite her out of her home at some point when it comes to that! Like the Bible says, 'gird your loins', cause you're in for a battle. Bummer.

Jam Aug 2012
allalone......I take it Mom is still responsible for herself and is able to make her own decisions. There really is not much you can do short of take her prisoner and hold her hostage. Maybe you can approach the situation from you will need assistance during the storm with children, etc so you would really like her to stay with you. I know what I would do if it were my Mom........I would invite her over to my house with some excuse and that's where she would stay until the storm passed. Better she be mad at me for a while instead of stranded and in need of help or injured and no one able to access her. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.

195Austin Aug 2012
I would just tell her what may happen and if she stays she stays alone and if gets hurt no one may be able to get to her and will be alone as long as she realizes this she will have to make up her mind -no use arguing with her but tell her you will be telling the rest of the family that you did offer your home-they do like to argue and make up their own mind-when was the last time you won an argument with you -that might help you feel better about-there are always people who will not evacuate and then expect to be resuced when getting into trouble-and they are told to get out early or ride out the storm by themselves.

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