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rstaples Asked August 2012

Can I still put my mother in an assisted living even if she is refusing to go?

My mother has dementia. I have just moved her form AZ to MN. We found out that she had a urinary infection that caused her to be delusional. She is in my and my husbands care. It is more than I can give. I have a full time job that I need. She is currently getting many different therapies in home. I found an assisted living for her that I can get her in immediately. She was excited about it, but now has become in a panic and her dementia is kicking in and refuses to go. I do have POA. I am still able to put her in the assisted living facility?
Confused!

jeannegibbs Aug 2012
rstaples, that is good. I can imagine how terrible that feels to you, but keep foremost in your mind that you are doing what is best for Mother, even though it is very difficult.

You will continue to love her, visit her, advocate for her, and see that she is getting very good care. You can go back to being her loving daughter and not her full-time caregiver.

rstaples Aug 2012
Thank you, social services is coming out and getting a doctor to sign that she has to go.

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jeannegibbs Aug 2012
I say go for it. If she was excited about it before we can hope she'll come to accept it once she is settled in. You have Power of Attorney to commit her money to it and you are her daughter, doing what is best for her.

Is she able to function at the Assisted Living level? Does that place have a memory care unit, for when the dementia gets worse, as dementia always does?

I'm so sorry that your mother has this dreadful condition. Good luck to you as you do your best to care for her.

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