Fed up w/Dad & Brother! Frustrated! So tired! Do you ever get over it? How do I get free?

Thank you NancyH and Jeannegibbs. Yesterday stretched my last nerve to the breaking point. Sorry i went off on a tangent, but there is no one to talk to about this. I think too that reading some of the post on this site didn't help.

Anyways, back to my situation:

My husband is the one that said "he has no one else". He made me feel like I was abandoning family. I tried to tell him that what we were getting into and he wouldn't listen. Now, he understands! Now how do I get out of this w/o hurting my brother.
My husaband is useless whenit comes to "emotional issues" or taking charge of almost anything. I am the one who everyone seeks out for help, advice, etc. Everyone leans on me. Who do I have to lean on? My other personality? LOL
I checked with Social worker and all she offered was med-cal & food stamp assistance. I will check with the County Health Services this week and see what they can do for us.
I'm too burned out to care for another family member. I took hand on care of MIL for excess of 10 yrs until she went to a nursing home. Then she died in 2004. Then kids came back in late 2004. Had to start taking care of Dad's issues in 2006. Doctor said he was going to die at any time (heart failure) so we retired and moved 350 miles north in 2007. EVERY WEEK back to San Diego cause Dad decided, nope not going with you!
For 5 yrs. i and my husband have been taking care of Dad's needs. My sister lived only 17 miles away, but would not help out. Found out recently that my Dad gave he $10K. Wow! He didn't re-imburse us our travel expenses or outo f pocket expenses for him. We didn' ask cause we thought we were better off than he was. Sister, who lives in our house as renter, says as far as she is concerned that money was her inheritance before he died. Says she doesn't feel the same way about him that I do and is sorry that I am stuck with taking care of him. My Dad had left by way of a will and POD on accounts to me or his sister, but with him now self pay in care facility there will be no money left possibly. That is okay as he is the one that worked and did without to have savings. I told h im a few years ago to spend his money and enjoy what was left of his life and my sister blew a fuse! She wanted the money for herself.
When I was in San Diego for 10 days arranging care for Dad everyday sheor her husband would comeout to my travel trailer and ask if I had found out how much money he had and who was to get it. I already knew, but put them off. I finally told them and now very limited contact with them. Intiiated by me, but you can feel the change.
Back to Brother:
1.Any ideas on how to descretly get out of taking him everywhere we go?
2.How do I get him to listen to me about posting stuff on Facebook?
I'm not very good at lying...need to start learning LOL
I am afraid of his reaction if I took computer use away. He's not a child, but I'm not sure how to deal with a Brain Damaged person. Not exactly sure of his ability's or limitations. SIL didn't provide and intructions for me when she dumped him.
She sent some very old paperwork from 2009 when he had his injury. Paperwork only goes to 1-2011. Still trying to determine what is true or not when brother provided info.
Not sure of much except that I am getting fatter by the day. Eating is my addiction particularly when i'm stressed. I am not a smoker, don't usae drugs and not much of a drinker either. So foodacholic would fit me best.
I just had to put our 2 dogs to sleep. We buried the girl on Valentines Day and the boy on the Fourth of July. We have some very old animals and some are very ill. They are my friends and it is hard to see them ill and to let them go.
New DIL & son are having issues (not sure what her trouble is PMS?), but she didn't want us around. Yesterday she messages me on the computer and says NOW she wants to resume relationship! She can wait. So I VENTED to her about brother and so got a reprive from having to deal with her. (also, brother doen't like mexicans and she is mexican). He will have to be respectfull as she is family. I have to say that I was surprised that my brother showed respect when kids came up to go swimming and stay over night. He wore a t-shirt to cover his tatoos (profanity). That was unexpected! Maybe I am worried about nothing, but I just don't want to be responsible for anyone else. I feel like I only have a little care-taking energy left and I need to reserve that for my husband, son or grandsons. Is that selfish? Sometimes I think I am just a mean/lazy person. Particularly when some religious person says "GOD won't give you more than you can handle". Well, they are both wrong!
Maybe I won't go crazy before I can get some info and help this week.

Thanks for listening.

Even if you are his only family, you are not required to have your half-brother in your home. I think you know that. If his brain injury prevents him from being capable of living on his own, find out what options there are for him. You could evict him, with no responsibility for what happens to him, but I suspect you could live with yourself better if you found an alternative. Have you called Social Services and asked for a needs assessment? Have you contacted the Brain Injury Association of California for advice and referrals?

I hope you can find some ways to get out of this prison you do not deserve!

Karin, what does your husband say about this? Does he have any ideas how to get you free from this? If he agrees with you, and wants to be free from this situation, then if he WILL let him take the reigns and take over. The key is, will you let him and will he do it? This may seem stupid or useless to you, but too many times us women just barrel ahead without considering our husbands as a resource.