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ging80 Asked September 2012

My father in law lives alone, has nurses aides 6 days a week, and has Alzheimer's. How do we take away his drivers licenses?

His drivers licence has been revoked, but my husbsnd is afraid to disable or take his car. Grampa is very vindictive , we are afraid he will prosecute us for car theft. Help.

streetz Sep 2012
if you love him dearly just take them away try to explain to him he can kill or hurt his self or someone else on the road, if you know hes still driving when his mental state is not good you could be charged if something happens.

ramblinrosey Sep 2012
And if he does get in the car and drives, do not hesitate to call the police!! I know that sounds harsh, but he'll get over it. My brother and I both sat down and informed my dad of that. We also told the caregiver/aide that she could refuse to ride with him and she needed to alert the authorities and us asap.
Dad's constant arguement is
all the young kids and distracted mothers driving are far worse than his toodle to the store for groceries" We asked how he would feel if he hit some child by accident and his come back the child shouldn't be in the road anyway....His house is in a developement were we are seeing another new generation of young families and kids and with most having a 2 car familiy the second car is parked on street so there were more "obsticles" also.
I'd rather see him mad at me than in jail or a family loose a child- he's had a long life and I want that person or child to have one also.
My nephew is a Police Officer and he said they do get calls from family to come talk to the elders-

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ging80 Sep 2012
thanks for everyones input. We finally got the courage up to take his keys, but he had two other sets. We did go ahead and put a theft device that you hook on the steering wheel and the brake. His aide is wonderful and take him out shopping ect... My husband is the POA so this is all leagal. Thanks

Corinne Sep 2012
My husband has dementia. His doctor told him he could no longer drive. Of course, my husband went through a period of grieving because of this. However, he did get over it and so will your father-in-law. Please locate his keys and hide them. Be prepared for his tears or anger; but just tell him you don't know where his keys are . This is just the beginning of things you'll need..for example, his credit cards, any weapons he might own. Ask your friends for help in hiding these.
You must keep him safe as well as others. God bless you. This is such a difficult time of our lives and our loved ones. Corinne Sending you a tight hug and prayers for your strength.

jfryhospice Sep 2012
If I read the original question correctly the person has ALREADY LOST THEIR DRIVER'S LICENSE (been revoked), but still insists on driving. You may need to go to the court and see if you can get guardianship based on his Alzheimers so you can legally make "adjustments" to his car or get rid of it. If he requires nurses aids/assistance 6 days per week his disease may have progressed far enough to help prove to the court that he's incapable of making good decisions on his own behalf. Some courts have Guardianship and/or Conservatorship forms online that you can print out, fill out, and submit to the court. Be prepared to get a current/recent doctor's statement about the person's disease and capacity for decision making.

desert192 Sep 2012
Have uncle with wife ALZ - she still drives (never was good driver). Not only do you not want person hurt - What if they hurt someone else - they could be sued for everything they own (or will own) - and more importantly - What if they killed a child (or anyone for that matter).
Dad is not able to make these decisions (if he needs aide that much he obviously is not capable physically or mentally to drive). Next of kin needs to take responsibility and get him off road. Call DMV, get Dr. to write letter to DMV,
if car is old - maybe take it away and tell him it is in repair shop awaiting part (can't find parts, parts no longer made - so car must go) whatever works.
If you get different car - tell him it belongs to aide and she will take him whereever he needs to go, etc.

TiredinOregon Sep 2012
I don't know if this will help you, but I took the coil wire off mom's car. Then I had a mechanic come and he was good enough to tell mom it would cost a lot to fix her car. She decided to donate it to St. Vincent Depaul. They came and got her old T bird and I gave the tow truck driver the coil wire and said it starts right up. This allowed me to take away the car, but not her pride.

Ellenshep Sep 2012
I had the DMV send my father's doctor a form to be filled out... The doctor put on the form he thought my dad was no longer safe to drive.. The DMV then sent my father a letter stating he had to give up his liscense and come in to have a photo identification card made....

starshine14 Sep 2012
Someone should have power of attorney. If grandpa is vindictive, you may have a rough time of it. It would be good to sell the car and then you don't have to worry about it. If you fix it so it doesn't work, he may call a mechanic to have it fixed. Ask at the DMV to see if how/what they recommend, they probably deal with this all the time. When does his license renew? Have you discussed the dangers of driving in his condition with him? Sometimes they just like the idea of having the car (even though they may not be able to afford insurance/gas/maintenance on it). Good Luck!

ramblinrosey Sep 2012
Start by calling his Dr for help, the dr may not be aware he still drives,then suggest to Dr to recommend a drivers evaluation. My Dad(at 90) failed the evaluation so his lic was taken,it took forever for state to do the paperwork, so I annomusley sent them a letter(to speed things up) stating the problem,our Geriatric Care Mngr also did the same. he then asked for a second evaluation to "prove" they were wrong, failed that also, for the same exact things and again he tried to fight it !! I am a professional Truck Driver + Trainer so i am a pretty good judge od who can drive safely-he could not. It is hard for him but we do have a live-in who drives him(he won't let her use the car without him being present and she is not allowed to wear sandels as they are "unsafe " to drive in) If they need milk or pk up presc, she needs to load him up (45 min rt) or make the 1/2 mile walk in ALL weather to get his request.
Even after he lost his lisc- he proceeded to take car out twice when caregiver was in bathroom, my Son installed a "kill" switch that his caregiver uses now.

Drarlo Sep 2012
Does he actually drive very often? If not, you could just slip his keys into your pocket when he isn't looking. When my mother had her stroke and was in rehab, we told her my brother was using her car till she came home. She's never asked for it back.

Mamoogins Sep 2012
A durable POA is a great idea. You might want to look at the issue and expiration on his license. If he is as bad as you say he is, he may fail the test and then there is no option. In my case, my father's neurologist told him he needed to take a drivers test before he would allow him to drive again, due to his short term memory loss. With time and additional illnesses, plus his forever getting lost, he realized on his own that he could no longer drive and gave up without much struggle. This was tough for a man that was a professional truck driver for more than 50 years!

wayfarer1 Sep 2012
Contact a lawyer for advice -- may sound pricey, but much cheaper in the end. I take it the father has no one assigned as durable power of attorney? It may be a good time to get all that arranged.

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