My mom is 91 years old. Up until 3 months ago she was doing great, able to live on her own. Had a fall and was found by me after being down over night. She had alot of protiens built up in her muscles from the fall and started having kidney function failure. She now lives with me in my home.
She isn't at all the same mom I knew and loved 3 months ago. She was diagnosed with a severe dementia decline and they are now sending out a social worker to start paperwork for Hospice. I am willing to try anything? I am exhausted, sleep deprived and stir crazy. What experiences have you all had with Hospice. What should I expect from them?
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Just allow them to asses your situation and you will be surprise at how much they can help.
Read a little about the joys of hospice at
dementialiving
Thank you, I hope this will help you
Apharris
generally that this person has a good chance of passing away within 6 months. They give what they call comfort care. They will have drugs you can give her if she is having pain or anxiety. They do require that the person on hospice has a DNR.
They will have chaplains that visit regularly. Kind of like friends to talk to. The nurse generally will come once a week, depending upon their condition it might be
more. If your mother gets sick she no longer goes to the doctor, the nurse will come examine her and report to the doctor and order her whatever medicine she needs. They will send in an aide to help with bathing. My mother gets one that comes in M,W, and F. They just make it easier. They also provide some medicines, it is usually for whatever condition that made her eligible for hospice. My mothers for example is COPD. They provide her inhalers.
I don't know how to say this tactfully but Hospice is not normally called in until the end. It is the most wonderful gift in the world. Medicare and Medicaid will only pay for 6 months of service but I learned to appreciate each and every day and not focus on the end. I have a belief system that allows me to acknowledge that the time on earth is just time that we are preparing for something that is so much better.
Mom had brief moments of recollection and I lived for those times. She was dangerous to herself and others with her illness and she had to be in a nursing home but we were there with her all the time and still brought her home for holidays and birthdays and family events.
We were able in the end to bring her home and she died here in her tv room with my laying in bed with her and praying and singing "Amazing Grace". My objective was to make her life happy and I didn't want her to be afraid. She knew she was home. I had a nurse every day to help me. Because of her size and she could no longer move on her own, I needed help.
Mom had left us her house but we were in the process of fixing 20 plus years of disrepair to sell the home to pay for nursing home expenses. She always knew she was home in the end even though prior to that at visits, she was really unaware. She was able to tell us things that we never expected she would ever remember. She was so grateful to be home.
The nurses would stay an hour or two and in the end...they would stay overnight. They trained me on how to give her medication and kept me involved in what to look for. I always had an emergency number and there was a professional only a phone call away. I couldn't control the illness but I could make sure she didn't have pain and she was comfortable in her environment. They also had a minister who would come and visit us. I have a son in college and a 15 year old who I was worried wouldn't handle this well. They both thought it was the best thing and was happy to make her life as wonderful as she had done for us for years.
Do you have a local church? If not call your local Services for the Aging. Also, through the hospital, try to get a case worker who can help you with some of these things.
Hospice will also have a respite service...depending on which one you go with.
If you need any more information, please let me know. This time was so difficult for us but I was so grateful to have that time. When she passed, we had told her it was time and she wasn't afraid....and we weren't either. She died the day after Thanksgiving and even though the day before and the day after Thanksgiving she couldn't move or communicate. She woke up Thanksgiving morning to the smell of the season and she was her old self trying to help me cook and willing to do dishes if I could help get her out of bed. God gave us our last Thanksgiving together. God Bless!
she likes to go to bed. They write it all down. They make her feel so welcome, and I guess since they keep her on her schedule and don't make her follow another it works out well. She has moderate alzheimer's. Of course the nursing home that our hospice uses is one of the top rated in our area. I also have a friend that use to check out nursing homes for the state, and he says this is one of the best. So I guess we are extremely lucky. My Aunt who is 92 is also there full time as well as one of her old friends. You can also ask for the social worker to give you names of health care providers that come to the home, but you usually have to pay privately. I guess it would depend on your financial circumstances. The ones down here usually get $10 to $17 dollars per hour. As far as a fall or infection having done this since 2009, it could happen anywhere, including the home. I have been taking care of my mother and father who both are on hospice, and my aunt who is now in the nursing home. No matter how much care you give them, those things just happen.
Try to find reviews of the one you are thinking of online. Interview them and ask to
speak to current or past clients of their's. There are good agencies and bad. Ask your doctor to recommend one. If you get on hospice, they have what is called Respite care. They take your loved one to an approved care facility for 5 days so that you can take a trip, or just get some rest and alone time. You can ask for this once a month if you need it. Or at least this is the way it works in Texas. I hope you get the help you need. It is so overwhelming to be in your position.
A hospice social worker calls and checks in biweekly also.
If they come to your home, it was my understanding it will be about the same. So, they won't be there for long periods of time.
Best wishes! I know how u feel....