Is it wrong to ask distant family to help with sick friend?

Sorry for the grammatical errors - no edit button on these posts!

Yes, Nancy, I understand your questions. My friend is (was) an alcoholic in recovery, and has relapsed a few times during the course of the cancer. Maybe they are tired of that from years ago, but she really does sober up, go to AA meetings and stays away from even any painkillers or narcotics when she is doing better. This most recent diagnosis, 2 tumors on her spine, has really gotten her depressed. We generally have a good relationship with her family, as we are ex-partners and I have spent a lot of time with them at family gatherings. They have told me they really appreciate my support of her, but I asked one sibling who lives about 20 minutes away to check on her, and he didn't twice, so another friend and I went instead to take her food and make sure she was not hurt or incapacitated. Sometime I think she isn't honest with them on the phone, so I can't blame them for that, but I would think when I put out an urgent e-mail or call they would respond.

This morning I wrote one of them a long e-mail with some a list of things she needs help with, so maybe they can split some if the responsibilities up among themselves. Maybe that will help give them focus.

Thank you for listening and letting me vent!

hope, is your friend in touch with her family? They don't have that close of relationship then, and that's why her family doesn't step up? If that's the case, then I'm not sure what you can do. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her family, but if it were fairly good you might have some options. Like if they won't physically come and help, will they hire someone to stay with her while you're working? If she hasn't actually ASKED for their help, then that's also an issue. Maybe they're waiting for her to reach out? I don't know. Too many questions I guess.

After I posted this, I just noticed the question right below mine. Am reading those answers as well. Helpful already!