Is there a way to protect grandmother's assets from assisted living facilities so that the money is available for my aunt's care?

This forum has kept me sane, if it were not for it, I am not sure how I would be, since I am on such shakey ground as is. It makes me feel so much better to know that others have been accused of such horrible things when they have in reality sacrificed everything to help. I read and read the stories and it helps me to know that I, Kate, am not alone. I have never experienced persecution before, a lot for sure, I am for God's sakes an ex Cop, do you think I haven't since it all, well hello, no, I am seeing so much more.

I am glad to hear that you are settled somewhat as far as 'what to do.' Sometimes, all we can do is wait and see how it all turns out. I hope it turns out well for YOU and your mother. Hoping you can find a way to make friends - being alone isn't always the best - especially when we have big worries. Perhaps you have found friends here.

I have gleaned a lot of good advice AND read lots of others' experiences here. Very few 'judgements' are passed on this forum. Lots of sympathy and EMPATHY!! We are all in a similar boat. Take care and keep in touch.

I am an Irish citizen, I am not a foreigner, I am alone in my birth land with no friends, family that I am aware of, different food, culture, way of life, so if being alone means being a foreigner so be it. I am her only family here in Ireland, my father died in 2010, the start of the reason for coming back. I have a sister in US that will have nothing to do with her. It is becoming increasingly clear to me that those in "power" do not want to label, or get involved. I guess it will have to be what inspired me this morning from the Tao: I will have the patience to let my mud settle till the water is clear and till the right action arises by itself.

Madeaa - caregiving is not easy for anyone. You are dealing with difficult circumstances - being a foreigner. Definitely see another attorney. If possible - and maybe even go back home (to the USA) :0( Are you the only child? Does she have family in Ireland? IF she has other family, let them know that you appreciate their concern and are just overwhelmed by your mother's needs. The suggestion of having them to tea and scones may be a good idea. I hope this nightmare ends for you soon.

I called the lawyer that made my mother's will out a couple of weeks ago. At that time,my question was can I just continue using my mother's visa debit card to pay the house bills. He still has not gotten back to me. I need to regroup, I am all over the place. I find out yesterday that they are investigating me for elder abuse. OMG, I rue the day I ever got involved with helping my mother, seems like nice guys really do finish last.

Madeaa call a lawyer over there and ask. Make certain. I would consult a general attorney maybe he can give you a reference to ones that cover this situation. Maybe you should pay yourself a salary out of her funds. Check around and see what caregivers get paid over there, and then maybe pay yourself back salary. I am at a loss since it is overseas. I would do this only after you consult a lawyer to make sure this is okay. I know it is okay over here in the states.

Hey I found out from the financial elder abuse social worker that "elder care lawyers" do not exist in this part of Ireland. Can you believe this nightmare. He said, he'd like to meet and discuss some community services, I told him I was wrung out. I am done.

Eldercare attorney and POA/DPOA. The trust is the right thing to do. But a lawyer in your state that specializes in this stuff is critical. God bless.

wuvsicecream is correct in that you need to have POA....one for your grandmother and one for your aunt. Make sure they are both worded for financial and medical care. While you are researching, read up on Medicaid laws for Texas. Different states have different requirements. Eventually, if either of them goes into a home, the bills will have to be paid somehow. There is a way to protect assets now, it might work for you and it might not, so my advice would be to seek the help of an elder care attorney. Grandma's assets can be placed in a trust, then if she is placed her expenses will be paid by Medicaid, BUT AND THIS IS A BIG BUT, when she dies you will get a bill for what Medicaid has paid and expected to pay back. If you can show where the money was spent for Grandma's care, and that can include a lot of things, then the bill can be reduced or forgiven. Again, the advice of an attorney should guide you through that.

Talk to an elder care attorney, and have him set up a new will for your grandmother, and in that will set up a special trust for your Aunt. This trust will allow you to control your Aunt's funds, but will also let her be eligible for state benefits also if your grandmother passes away. I am in Texas I do not know how it works in other states.Also, get a medical and durable power of attorney, make sure the attorney files it with the county courthouse. If you lose your copy, or someone questions it, there will be a copy on file with the county.
Most assisted living facilities are private pay. It may be in your best interest to put your Aunt and your Grandmother in a apartment and apply for a medicaid provider that can come into the apartment daily. If she would not qualify for that it might be cheaper to just check on them once a day and make them a meal. If she is not on medication for her memory try to get her on some, it will help slow the memory loss down somewhat. My mom is on a generic for Execelon which seems to work well, and my dad is on Aricept. An elder care attorney can also set up a trust now for money for your grandmother and aunt, Make sure this is an elder care attorney you talk to. National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys This is a nonprofit organization which, among other things, provides a locator service for elder law attorneys nationwide. Hope this gives you some help.

I moved country to take care of my mother. I handle all of her financials have been for years, we didn't get to the point of poa, I thought she was okay but found out different when I arrived six months ago. She now has advanced dementia and they have her in convalescence and say she needs full time care in nursing home. what do I do, I live in the house, and just pay the bills as always from her account. It is frightening the hell out of me.

I have dealt with both these issues myself. Naturally different circumstances but generally the same. First of all don't look at the future big picture yet. Focus on what needs to be done to handle the future. You first need to get P.O.A. (Power of Attorney) for your Grandmother there is a lot of info. on this site for that subject. Gather all the documents you need such as S.S. card, birth certificate, marriage and/or death certificate of spouse, bank account info, stocks, bonds, IRA's, etc. any insurance policies, assets such as homes cars, deeds, tiles etc.
She must have some type of control of your Aunt's finances you need to find out about these things as well. If there is a trust she may be trustee if this is the case you need to find out the guidelines as to who is successor trustee or any beneficiary, she may have the trust covered by such a circumstance. You may want to cover the care of your Aunts finances and care in the wording in your Grandmothers P.O.A. Example You could have her P.O.A. worded that her Agent/Attorney in-fact (YOU) , has the power to make all decisions for your Aunts care needs and finances if your Grandmother becomes incapacitated or unable to do so herself.
This is all just to start off. Make several copies of all these documents for future believe me you'll need them. Keep one copy for you one if someone else needs them and a spare just in case. After making copies keep the originals in a safe secure place. Oh and if her spouse was a Veteran she may be receiver of benefits. You will need the discharge papers for that too.