What help is there as an only child, my father stubborn as a mule , a perfectionist military retieree,struck w/ CHF,diabetis ,mem" loss ec

Wow! What a mess! I am sincerely sorry for you.

Here is how I see it:

1. You have struggled with this for five long years. It is time to recognize that you cannot clean up this mess on your own.
2. Call the Senior Help Line or Aging Services or whatever the Department of Aging is called in your state and explain the situation. Ask for their help and advice.
3. Let Zoning know that you are not responsible for your father's property and that you cannot clean it up.
4. Stop worrying about whether your father will write you out of his will. So what? He may live another 2 decades or more and given his health and his mental issues it is very unlikely he'll have anything left to leave anybody.
5. DO NOT encourage your son and son-in-law to be exposed to that toxic mess. Just because your father has so little regard for you is no reason for you to disregard your own children's health and safety.
6. You are not doing your father any favors by enabling his unacceptable behavior.

Does this sound harsh? You are facing an extremely harsh situation.

he lives in his house i go every day i relocated to him nov of 07 since his CHF , he is inplanted w/ pace m/ defib. recently not long ago woke to a colapsed right side of face no funtion /feeling. my situation is since his devorce 25+yrs ago.he lhe visited my wife & I and questioned us both on wether to save in bank or invest on the/his house and land. "i know this may sound selfish " i choked asking Y? what is it that brings this he was only barly 60 he deniy'd and his health was good,.then nov 07 his ex also neighbore notified me on emergency W/ CHF this was just the start. while he recup'd 1st time bk in his house it reeked foul it took day's of venting, cleaning the fillth i was shocked. i knew then this was headed for long term. after seeing the garage, back yard "what u could see" wasn't much room. the bk yard has taken me off and on since ,mid 08 to sneek what i could out without his knowlage. "Yes my father horded" most everything had a use in his thought sometime or another. when he started to notice even the garage wich was packed wall to wall almost to the cealing with enough to go 2ft in and 3ft to the right from threw the kitchen to garage. and from the out side facing the garage barly enough to lift open the garage door. my son and i worked clearing for more then 5-6 days just to go threw and make room to walk threw from kitchen to garage door and make it out the garage door from the inside but still blocked from going out the bk door with junk blocking from inside still and also the back yard. this is when i was threatend to be cutout, thrown out, willed out., and locked out. i had no choice but to comply with my father but it was looking & smelling better. now threw all this i have to argue for him to shower and it takes weeks sometime's more then a month & bribe him with promise of a fishing trip just to get him to shower i mean even to take his dirty weeks of use same pair of socks and change them out. but it didnt matter after 3 days or more fishing at his favorate fishing place "Red Dot" the shower was pointless bye this time. I;m 46 yrs old and noting i do is ever right no matter what it is weather doing dishes or skinning a cat my way is wrong and his is better. i find it hard to find help even from my son now "no one want's to work all day for $20.00"wich is papa's feels it werth. but as for me nothing maybe a ty sometime's "not that i ask or need" as he remind's me ur inheriting it your getting enough." but keep pissing me off and throwing my thing's and i'll will it to "the Ex wife right next door. he wouldn't allow me to move his boat from the bk yard wich was needed inorder to have the space to clean that area till i builty a knock down privacy fence to compleately go around it if i didnt listen inn his words "there will be consiquences" but understand i'm not only under a time limit with code and complyance and also zoning now & having to do everything his way "papa's" i started to put my foot down and do what needed to be done with whatever consiquences i had to deal with. reason is we were now served with notices to appear infront of city councel and explaine why so long to comply with my dad being the property owner they can fine up to $1,000 a day from the first notice on the date written and possible jail time this i can't shake the thought of whats coming on dec 6th 2012 .
the daily time my father take's away repeating the same thing of what needs to be done
so you understand my father collected junk/stuff from the bk roads /woods where ppl would dump instead pay for landfill. he even would brag on firnishing the entier house never had to buy it " this he did and didnt lie" now 3 + months and counting it has went from a normal bit by bit trying to sneek a load out to rid of his 38 +yrs of rat packing i call it. he was complained on code & compliance being myself working 12+ hour everyday 3 - 10 day extentions to clear back yard & side access road of debrise fix.repair privacy fence. wich now convinced him it was time to put some of the savings to use. but still argue's and threatens me and will not let me throw his stuff "junk" so i'm forced to hall to one of my rentals and hide it either under the mobile home bk fence ect. i am tierd out strenth. mentally exausted. to the point now Zoneing has also sited this time i say us cause i'm working to slow my son & son-in-laws have stricken with getting sick from the rat feases dead and dried full rat skellitons and even 5+ feet of sheded snake skins from the back yard and garage. i've taken 1 hard spill in the bk yard i was down for 9 day's.
i know none are going to beleave me while reading this and think i'm over exagerating but i know as his only son his collecting and not doing his so called intention all this junk he arguse's is ment for something he's going to do some day theres just so much he does i'm not sure why. i work late to avoid as much time lost with his repeated interruption explaining the same task were already told how he want's it done i've tried to get him to see /understand i bought an upgraded cell phone with a clear sounding recorder built in and after recording 1st time and playing it bk to my father so he himself could hear/see for him self but it at did was piss him off more i'm now being accuedof stealing from him my father. that i'm only there for his money, his truck bank acct's ect...threatining restraining order on my to now have been given 90 to move from another rental "grandma's his and i'm not welcomed in his where he lives locked out.
i'e run my truck to the ground with whats had to be done up till now. theres so much more i feel to say bt i feel i
m again waisting timewhen i could be doing sumthin else. it's not that i'm afrade of not getting in will truck house his junk ext i'd rather if it come;s to it sale it and have it used for his well being i'm at the point my will is damaged beound repair
with the hatful thing remarks sarcasim as my father told me on the privacy fence i meantion a bit ago to go around his boat " that sure is a RaTTy LookEn Fence.. this is all for now i sincerly sry for the run on and rambeling i need help and have no clue as to where to start or even look for help some how. i love my dad "paps" i also know involing anyone will be the draw point for my father to wipe me off "and not in the good way"
i hope all whom read this have a great thanks giving as for mine my 5 childeren and grand kids all gathered at my house and this last blow out from him he refused to go and said he had nothing to be thankful about and took it out on them because i did what i had to do and not what he wanted me to do. wouldn't even accept a dinner plate they even took to him wich he not soon threw away
i'm done & truly Sincerly ty i hold on a prair maybe god will send an angel my way with help and answers my name is Gary D Garretson as my father's with dif mid initial at least somethin right and never changes spelling of our names. a plea for help

Are you living with him? His house or yours? If not living with him, where is he and how often do you see him?

What kind of help are you looking for?

A few more details will help us to help you.