How can I stop my mom with dementia from giving her money away to scams that claim she won money, but must pay a fee?

Reading this topic because my mother, whom I just moved to a retirement community due to her dementia, is receiving scam phone calls after having a new number for only one week! Her number is through Time Warner Cable so I called and they put a free service on her line called Nomorobo. (As in No Mo Robo calls). I understand that there are other companies that also offer this but I don't know which ones. I see it's now also available for cell phones.

You can block someone from using Western Union
drowndinginmail.wordpress/2014/09/25/drowning-in-junk-mail-how-to-block-a-loved-one-from-using-western-union/

Judy has a very good idea, and you can also try the DoNotCall registry which should at least theoretically make these people criminals.

I'm also very upset by a new kind of scam where they call with a threatening message saying they are form the IRS and you must call them back; reportedly if you call back they will try to convince you to write a check to avoid being jailed for back taxes or some such...I'm worried calls like this will give some poor little old lady a heart attack!!

Needs A Breather, it sounds like it is past time for sis to just monitor the accounts - Mom does not know how to handle money or scammers any more, and rational arguments are not gong to work when someone calls her up with an offer that sounds good and she does not want to offend them by calling them a liar or scammer and is afraid to say no. You MIGHT be able to train her to say "you have to talk to my POA first before I agree to sending any money" and stick to it, but good luck. I sense you want to respect her autonomy, but with her judgement this far gone you really have to step in and take over this part of her life for her.

25melu, listen to your neurologist, he is right...ask to talk to a social worker- either one associated with the hospital or neurology office, or call your local Area Agency on Aging and tell them exactly what you told us, and that you need direction to go for help and do not have a lot of income up front for legal expenses. If you directly look for a a lawyer, you want an eldercare attorney - I found one for my loved one by typing elder law and the name of my town, and chose one based on the website that indicated 1) knowledge of Medicaid in our state and 2) the initial consultation fee up front. It may seem expensive (mine was $300.00 for an hour together after records review) but it could be a lot more expensive without it, as you are finding out.

can some one please help me !!! My husband has dementia and I need to figure out how to close permanently his yahoo email account. I keep trying to close it but he is able to open up again . he has lost thousands of dollars in scams and websites. I have no income and we are terrible hurt economic on account on him.
Has being going for 7 months day after day , our son had an anxiety attack the other day . when he saw his father this was three days ago went to westen union and deposit 1000 dollars to send to some other country . we kept telling him that was a scan . I was not sleeping all night to delete the emails of this person but they kept emailing several times at day and I was not able to stop it most of his emails in yahoo are scams !!!
I try to cancel his email account but takes 90 days to close if any body can help me what to do with yahoo emails please I be so grateful.

I was told by his neurologist that I need to get an attorney to get custody and through the attorney I could look for disability He is 72 years old and I am 60 years and can not find a job plus I am always scare what is the next thing he is going to do. I have no idea how to find a lawyer or what steps to take to get some help for disabilty or be able to get more social security

help please and thank you for reading my situation and bless every one who is in this same situation, wish there were some groups so we could all talk
I have no family here so is very lonely and scary

Our mother was diagnosed 3 years ago with dementia, my sister and I have been dealing with these same issues w/our mother for the last 3 years. They had to go today to change her checking account again for the 4th time in 8 months. There was almost 2900.00 taken from her account over things she swears she didn't do, but it's evident she has, from using her debit card over the phone, which she claims she has never used, period,. to ordering every useless article that can be pitched her way. As far as the scammers, I personally talked to 1 who claimed my mother had won a cruise, that was during the time my dad lay in a comatose state in a local nurisng home and I told this person then do not call my mother again, she is not interested! Somehow a few days later they got through to my mother who gave them her banking info and scammed her 1000.00. We constantly tell mother theses are scammers, she's telling us she's not sending money, or ordering things. But like I told my sister today, this is not our mother we are dealing with. The dementia has turned her into someone we do not know. Our mother would not throw away money the way this person does. What makes it worse, she came into a large sum of money about 6 months ago and she has rifiled through the majority of it on these scams. I tell her time and time again that she was the biggest sucker there is and the people that are doing this knows shes a sucker thats why they continue to do it, and she lets them...I also told her she may as well put her money in the fireplace and burn it, cause what she does with it is the same thing, trying to shock her back to reality, but nothing we say seems to phase her. My sister who has POA has finally after what happened today been allowed (by our mother) to be added to her checking account, this way at least my sister can monitor her checking account daily. Hopefully this will be a big hellp. I've heard of horror stories of loved ones dealing with thing of this nature, but when you have to deal with it personally, it plays havoc on our emotions.

If you can get them to view this site, hopefully they will see that the snail mailed letters are pure SCAMs. If you find one that isn't at this site, please use the "Contact" form to contact the webmaster. This is only for mail, not emails or websites. But this continues to be a serious threat to our elderly because they are often alone and still trusting of anything that is "official" because it came by mail! Even if they won't/can't view this site, it will give you an idea of what they may be facing. There are also many links to sites that may be of help in stopping these leters. I can just about guarantee mailing the SCAMmers will get absolutely no positive results, it will simply confirm that the address they used is valid and somebody there is reading their garbage!

My parents were both involved with scammers. The scammers took over $150,000. We shut them down by approaching the court with a disability petition. We were immediately ganted temporary conservatorship by the judge, we had to make documents to prove this. Just so happen the scammers called my parents cell phone during the court proceeding, so it was not problem for the judge. After that, we took over their bank accounts and controlled their finances via an existing POA. During the period following, we established improved POAs and a trust, which they signed. We moved their assets to the trust. We then dropped the disability petition, otherwise the case would have gone to trial. We had all that was needed and completed to care for them. We did leave a small amount in the checking accounts, however, a few months later they drain those account and gave the money to scammers. So, they will say they stopped with the scammers...they never will.

but mom grabs the mail and hides them i found out by seeing her writing checks out and now receiving phone calls every day asking for more money claiming she won the lottery.

As far as the 100s of daily mailings, I have been able to cut at least 95% of them when this became a serious problem with my father. i wrote a letter telling them their mailings have become a very serious problem to our family and must stop. I hope they will take my request seriously so I won't have to take further action. Then look up the name and address of your state's attorney general and cc the letter to that address. I didn't send the letter to the attorney general's office, but the scammers didn't know that. Use their return envelope to make sure it will be opened and include the page or form that was to be completed, showing your mother's/father's name and address, etc. Don't include your address, or you might get on their mailing list. A few of them kept sending mailings, but a second letter with stronger language worked. It takes time and there is the expense of postage on some of them, but well worth it. Good Luck! Judy

Have the same thing happening with my 91 year old mother. It seems that once someone gets on the "sucker list" all sorts of spam calls and other "too good to be true" offers start to come. Had to take away her credit card as that was the biggest place to get hurt. We finally got her to understand but sometimes she still buys some junk that is a pain to return. Had the mail sent to my sister's house (next door) and she removed all the junk mail to eliminate getting to my mother that way. Good luck.

If you do not have, immediately obtain a Financial Power of Attorney which will then allow you to control her finances. (Legal Zoom has one specific for the state you live in that is reasonably priced.) Notify banks/c.c. companies that a dual signature is necessary for any/all financial transactions. Change the phone # and if possible, have it limited to accept/place calls to specific #.

There are many useful facts in above posts to help with blocking or reporting scammers. One other thought -- this is about why your loved one clings to the "mind your own business" attitude when you try to tell them these are scams. It's because they are likely getting "sweet talked" and it's appealing to them. Also, the catalog companies and shopping networks' customer service call-line for orders are super-sweet to elder customers. It's emotionally addicting and they purchase just to get that "fix." Legal intervention is usually required to stop access to calls in/calls out. You can try and try as the caregiver to provide the attention they seem to need, but you will likely wear yourself out for nothing. Find a good counselor to talk to, and then ask them to meet with you and your loved one together. Legal steps next, if counseling won't solve the issue.

So sorry to hear about this. Please visit the FBI website addressing this issue: www.fbi.gov › Scams & Safety › Common Fraud Schemes

On that website, on the right side, are a list of common scams, and contact numbers for the FBI. Please get in touch with them.

I am very puzzled that your brothers mail her letters sending money to these scammers. What is that about? If they don't believe these are scams, sit them down with the FBI website.

Additionally, the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) covers financial frauds targeting older Americans. Here is the number for the CFPB Ombudsman's office I have not used them and the CFPB is a newly formed agency so I don't know how helpful they will be but it is worth a try.

Also, call the police. I don't know where you live, but police in smaller towns will respond to this crime with gusto -- check your local police blotter and you will likely see a bunch of these kinds of reports.

I, too, am going through the same thing with my husband who has dementia. He gets his mail at a post office box, with a POA, I asked for an extra key, I go everyday and take out the junk, leave what is real for him to get. I also called the phone company and asked to have a new cell phone number since that is where they called him, then I emailed/called everyone that communicates with him to give the new number. He doesn't know that he has a new cell number and no one has told him. It works just fine.
I also called the local Western Unions to not allow him to wire money overseas or anywhere else. I reported their numbers to the Do Not Call Registry, and filed complaints with the FTC. It is a full time job keeping the scammers away from him, everyone has told him the same that it is a scam, he says he knows but it doesn't stop him when an envelope slips through.
Good Luck, I live with it everyday, and don't like having to do it this way, but it has helped tremedously with our arguments/fights about it.
Golfchick60

I am also going through the same thing!! When we find out about phone scammers, we can block the number. It only helps for that one, and there is always more. Mom won't change her number, because she has had it for over 30 years. She won't even consider it. She also gets 50-60 pieces of mail each day! All sweepstakes and lotteries and scams. She has wasted thousands of dollars, but then doesn't understand why she is out of money. I handle the few legitimate bills she has each month (switched to on-line billing) and monitor her checking account on-line. I just got POA and now plan to contact bank to see what else I can do to protect her.

Read all of the previously posted advice above (or below). I went through this, not because of a parent's dementia (although my mom did have it) but because my dad cannot handle his affairs any longer. When scammers call him up, he has nothing to give anymore and I handle the finances. Also...visit your parent often and engage them in conversation and ask who calls them...or get a phone that records numbers that called him and report suspicious activity to the police.

Also, consider changing her number for her so they stop calling.

Hire an elder care attorney. Have the lawyer place all your mom's asset's either in a trust or in your name. This will give you control of her assets. Then remove all meaningful valuables (jewelry etc) and money from the home.

Some banks let you have PoA on checking accounts for just this instance. (without having the legal state PoA) I had to force it onto my grandmother because she kept giving away money as well. Occationally, I'll still find scamming on her account - and the bank is aware of the situation. So, everytime I call about it they fix it without a problem.

Eventually, after I get her bills settled, I will have to change her accounts so nobody will have her account information.

Alternatively, once you obtain PoA and she currently has no automatic transfers or bills to pay, you can stop ALL debits against the account until she actually needs to get cash from the bank. Allow it for that day only, then put the debit block back on the account.