How do you report domestic abuse of an elder?

One of the key concerns of older adults is the experience of memory loss, especially as it is one of the hallmark symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. However, memory loss is qualitatively different in normal aging from the kind of memory loss associated with a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. Occasional lapses in memory are normal in aging adults and understanding the distinction between normal symptoms and warning signs of Alzheimer’s is critical in maintaining cognitive health.

The National Clearinghouse on Abuse in Later Life (NCALL) is a project of WCADV. NCALL’s mission is to eliminate abuse in later life. Through advocacy and education, NCALL strives to challenge and change the beliefs, policies, practices, and systems that allow abuse to occur and continue. NCALL also aims to improve victim safety by increasing the quality and availability of victim services and support.

I agree lildeb that it should be documented somehow this incident or incidents. I used to work in DV but not anymore, I am retired now. I heard and seen enough to last a lifetime. In order to exhume a body I think you have to have a court order to do that, as well. I do not know specifics so I am just generally commenting on here. You are also right Deb. No one deserves to be abused - ever. I too am sorry for your loss Stoicman.

StoicMan, Sorry for your loss. I would get an autopsy done to see if their r any evidence to make a case against the Intimate Partner ( IP) if that is what may have caused her death n if its not too late to get it done. Also, Crystal mention she is a worker in DV n mention about getting an injunction. I would take her advice as well even though it may wasn't one of her children yet, her IP. We ll may grumble n stuff on here but I agree with ya Crystal that, "no one should be physical n mentally abused!" I hope you r able to find some answers and sorry for your loss.

I too read your late mother-in-law - so at first I was going to advise to go to the nearest court facility and file an injunction. I am sorry to hear of your loss and it is a shame when these things happen to our elders. I worked in domestic violence and dealt with many elders who were abused by their children. It was not easy to sit across and listen to their story. It is appalling to say the least. NO one - let me repeat NO ONE deserves to be physically mistreated. File that injunction and follow through with it for those who know of this type of situation. I hope your mothers' passing was not a result of this abuse. If so I believe the law would be involved, most certainly. You said all the signs were overlooked by the social worker? I do not understand that one. Again I am sorry to hear this news. Hugs to you.

I apologize - I read your post "late mother" but it didn't sink in. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Is it your opinion that your mother's death was, at least in part, caused by her domestic partner? That is much trickier. What does her death certificate say is Cause of Death? Once the cause of death is listed as being determined to be from natural causes, its almost impossible to obtain justice from "the system." Since you know what was going on and you have to be able to sleep at night, I would file a report with the agencies I listed above and more... just to know that you did what you could.

My experience is that the problem is of long duration and may not be easily changed UNLESS physical damage is evident. Even then the perp usually blames the victim for causing the injury and the victim is not always 'credible'. It helps to have an independent witness who can report "suspected" abuse. When someone has died as a result of abuse a medical opinion (autopsy) is necessary. By then it is too late for the victim. Elder abuse may be a larger problem than we know.

One quick answer is to call the local police, file a report, remove the offender from the home, and get and enforce an order of protection.

I did a cursory check and this appears to be who you need to contact:

Passaic County Board of Social Services
80 Hamilton Street
Paterson, NJ 07505-2057
Phone: 973-881-2616
After Hrs: 973-345-2676

If this is the "social services" that "ignored" signs, then skip them and go straight to their governing agency:

New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services
Division of Aging and Community Services
P.O. Box 812
Trenton, NJ 08625-0812
Phone: 609-341-5567

I would call them first and see if you can get a live human being on the phone to help you. Sometimes these agencies have a mailbox recording that answers calls, and all you can do is leave a message. In my experience, that goes nowhere. So either get someone on the phone and emphatically explain the situation, including the fact that your local social services isn't doing their job, and there is immediate danger to your mother - OR - If you can't get a live person on the other end, write out your report of abuse and mail it with Delivery Confirmation. That should put sufficient pressure on the state agency to do its job of investigating your report.