My aunt has no short-term memory and her sons refuse to put her in assisted living. What can I do?

I am sorry to hear about your Aunt, Aunt need 24 round the clock care, or put her in a place where she will be safe. how old is she, does she get social security every month and who stays with her, i know you take care of her 3 months while your in Florida, but who else? if any. The sons just might want her S.S. if she knows she gets it every month. who knows. but her sons will be accounted for this and for her. that would be knowing by not takeingI care of her they will pay for that act. I am from florida and a health care giver for 25 years. call her dr too. and tell him about her condidition.

Your aunt could be very much at risk and might really need you to be her advocate. If she has "no short term memory" what's to stop her from burning the house down with her in it, or to let strangers in? What's to keep her from overdosing herself, or from wandering away? The economy and drug addiction are just two of the many factors which have significantly impacted the increased safety risks in our communities, and in our homes. Criminals will stop at nothing in order to feed an addiction, nothing. I've known friends' elderly parents who let strangers into their homes because the crooks had schmoozed them with well practiced stories. The victims' check books and other valuables were stolen while the victims were kept distracted. Can you imagine what might have happened if the victims suddenly realized what was going on? How would your nephews feel when (note, it's WHEN, NOT IF) their mom falls victim to some horrific and AVOIDABLE misery? If they just can't fathom the potential risk, remind them of prior situations from within your own family, or copy/click/show them stories from your local newspapers or online. Further, someone with no short term memory needs some level of supervision 24-7, NOT for just a few hours a day---or night. Tell your nephews that if someone needs assistance and protection from 1 to 5pm daily (when, for example, the aide leaves), that it is unreasonable to expect some sort of magic shield to keep that person out of harm's way at 5:05 pm. And, oops, if she were to fall victim to some crime, natural occurrence, or have an accident, WHEN could she expect your nephews to discover her and stop her suffering, IF that were still possible? One last thing, if your aunt has so much short term memory loss, please do not expect some kind of life alert button system to be the end all answer to everyone's concern. Alarms are a good supplemental aid when used properly. But sometimes there are additional factors to consider. On top of memory loss, there can be impaired mobility, judgment and/or reasoning. Sometimes the elderly tell their adult children they will use the system, but then they don't. They leave it in the bedroom. Or they'll not use the system because, "It was 3 o'clock in the morning and I didn't want to wake the firemen up." (true story) My husband's aunt didn't use the very expensive security system that had been installed after an incident in her home. The instruction booklet had very small print and was "too complicated." And, the hand written instructions were written sloppily and were incomplete. His aunt was too embarrassed to tell her family because she feared they would deem her incapable of staying in her home alone. Further, one could have a medical emergency which leaves them unconscious or physically unable to activate the system. And so on... Please give it one more shot grandmamurphy. Best wishes.

More info needed to provide answers. Is there a POA, if so, who is the agent? If not perhaps obtain a POA with you as the agent. This should be in place regardless. What is the objections from her son(s) to placing her in an ALF? An alternative would be to hire a part-time care provider if that would be adequate for her care for the short term.

Why are you the one caring for her? Perhaps you just need to inform them of when you are going and GO.