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gagrandma1 Asked December 2012

What do I do when my grandmother refuses to eat or go to the doctor?

My grandmother is 93 years old and she hardly eating or drinking. I am afraid that she is getting dehydrated. She refuses to go to the doctor. I ended up calling 911 yesterday morning for them to check on her but she refused to let them touch her. The paramedic said that he really could not do anything since she is refusing care and to call them back, if needed. I really don't know what to do.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Dec 2012
I'd check with your local social services and ask them for resources in your community. There may be some help. Also, of course, ask her doctor or your doctor if she doesn't have one. He or she may have some ideas.
However, people have rights. It's sad, but she may have made up her mind to die. Sometimes people at that age just get tired of living. Naturally, you want to do all you can to change that, but don't live with guilt if she chooses to refuse help. Medical people and social services are your best bet for advice.
Take care,
Carol

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