How do I get my husband to accept a caregiver so that I can have a break?

I agree with others comments/suggestions. But also ask the doc about other meds, not just Ativan. I'd say there are probably quite a few that may be safe for him and could make him at least drowsy, even non-prescription meds like Benedryl, but ask the pharmacist too. In the U.S., it's the psychiatrists who are the experts on mood-altering drugs (psychotropics) so maybe it's the same in Australia? I would consult with a doctor, like a psychiatrist, who regularly prescribes psychotropics. At this point, I think I'd choose to just medicate him so you can control his behaviors. Talking him out of his temper tantrums or having to get him used to a caregiver with you still there, will probably not give you much success, and like you say, costs a bundle. Medications do have their down-side, but wow, they do provide so much relief when they work to help us! Good luck!

Thank you for all your answers. My husband occasionally has an afternoon nap which is heaven for me. (Like having a new baby.) I asked my doc about Ativan and he said that some people react in the opposite way and become more aggressive. I will try it though. I was also worried that Ativan might knock him out and then I'd have even more problems getting him onto the toilet etc. I suppose I must just try it.
I don't want to put him in full time care yet but am looking at retirement villages (in Australia where we live) and want one where I will get help with him. I'm 57 and my husband is 60 and I feel a bit young for a retirement home but maybe it's necessary.

I was thinking the exact thing as MishkaK. My uncle has dementia and my aunt was at her wits end for all the reasons you describe. The doctor put him on Ativan and it made a world of difference. Best of luck to you.

Hi colleen. Can you ask the doctor if you can get a prescription for Klonopin or Ativan (sp?)- it is like valium and has the immediate effect of relaxation that will last for a few hours. It is a controlled drug and , of course, you need to make sure it is OK to take with his other meds but it may help calm him down enough to let you get a break. You need a break.
Sitting with the aid for the time being sounds like a good plan. It may not be beneficial right now but after a few times maybe he will get comfortable enough to let you leave. I think you are on to something with that.
Then, there is always the possibility that he has reached the point in his illness where he may need to live in a full time care facility. For both of your health care needs , maybe, it should be considered. Hard, though, huh?

Good luck. God Bless. Sending you hugs ((((coleen))))

I don't know the solution, but my heart goes out to you.

Does he take regular naps?