My mother-in-law with ALZ has lived with us for the past 4 years. My sister-in-law wants to put her in a nursing home & has covinced the doctor it may be necessary. She has even reported us to Adult Protective Services. (Of course, nothing came of it.) Hospice & home health nurse disagree with nursing home as do friends & family who have been in our lives.
Sis doesn't visit even though she lives 15 minutes away. I want Mom to stay with me. Mom is happy and wants to stay here. Both Sis and my husband have POA.
Does Sis have power to move Mom?
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2) If two people have POA both must agree to financial actions. Your husband can veto any expenditures for a nursing home.
Is SIL sincere and just wrong in trying to what is best for Mom, or is there some other factor at play here, such as sibling animosity? You'd think if she really thought there was something wrong with the environment her mother is in she'd be over there all the time, checking on Mom and making sure things are all right.
On what basis can she convince the doctor that MIL needs a nursing home if she doesn't even visit and know what is going on up close and personal. Would the hospice nurse and/or the HHN be willing to write up a brief report of how things are going at home?
Does the hospice service you are using have a hospice house? If MIL did get to a point where you could not meet her needs it seems to me that a hospice house would be more appropriate than a nursing home.
I think (hope) in this case possession is 9/10 of the law. MIL is living with her son. It would take a pretty strong case to move her out against her will and the will of her son. APS has already declared there is no case from their perspective.
Good luck, and please keep us informed.