Can guardian caregivers pay themselves?

janiet1--I believe we need to take certain things into account. For example, I'm considering quitting my job to take care of my parents full time, but I'm going to need some money for healthcare insurance (which will total less in a year than my mother is currently paying each month in a nursing home!) and some other basic expenses. Yes, we appreciate what our parents did to rear us, but the reality is that modern life in America is expensive (even without any "frills"). I don't believe it is being "ungrateful" to recognize that one needs money on which to live when caregiving effectively becomes one's job.

Thank you. My mother is happy to devote her remaining years to her brother for free, even though he was never kind to her. However, the other 2 brothers have not seen my uncle since my grandmother died in 1997. All the burden is on my mother, why is she not entitled to a meager $300 a month for taking care of my uncle? My mother is struggling financially, my uncle is not.

Just to say I am in complete understanding that compensation for taking care of your mother is truly justified - I hope you can find a way. As others have said, just because our parents took care of us when we were growing up - are two different things entirely. I went into debt taking care of 3 family members - you shouldn't have to do this. There are many expenses while taking care of our elders. Good luck to you and hope things work out - you deserve it! Hugs and take care.

If her brother is on Medicaid she may be able to get payments from the government for her caregiving.

As far as his funds, does she have a power of attorney? If she does then she has the power to handle his finances.

"Ditto" to momlover, my Mom was the same before the dementia, she also never wanted to burden anyone, but so be it, she is worth it.

Please, lets keep this site informational and supportive. I think we live with enough of our own guilt as caregivers (should I, could I, did I, etc) that we want to stay clear of judging each others questions. Wether we pay ourselves or not is not to be judged. Information and empathy only, please. Extragarlic (I love your name) I pay myself a small amount from mom's money as I am on her checking account. This is not only with my brother's blessings, but mom would want me to compensate myself. When she was more sane she would buy me gas, lunch, etc. You could help your mom feel more comfortable paying herself based on the money he has but also by balancing it with the amount she pays for the outside care then subtracting some for love. After reading Rita2013's answer, I googled, "Caregiver financial assistance". some good sites came up that might help. God Bless you and your mom in your love and care of her brother.

PS I also gave up my job of 18 years and half my pension for my Mom because we couldnt afford to pay for fulltime help, nor find anyone capable to lift her.

Unless someone has done fulltime caregiving in your home 24/7 which puts your life on hold and is harder than any job out there, no one can judge us. Before I can even shower I hoyer my Mom up and into her wheelchair and lift her onto the toilet to bathe her, make her bowels move, etc etc and dress her. I then make and feed her a 2 hour meal and drink and give meds. It starts all over again in a few hours. Unless you pay for a high heating bill, food, diapers, bed pads, clothing, special foods that you prepare and puree, order medication, and deal with wet and fece diapers daily, please don't judge us. And the last thing I have to say is that if our parent or loved one should pass to Heaven, the silbings that have done nothing, come running with their hands open for money. We are not taking our parents money, we are taking our siblings inheritence that they do not deserve if they wont help. All the money I received has gone back to my Moms supplies and needs because she has outlived her money by 3 years now. I now do it free, do I care? Absolutely Not, I never wanted it in the first place . What I did want was help, but the siblings were too "busy." So I got help with our heating and food bills, etc and at the time it sure helped. Anyone doing this type of care, especially with dementia and incontinence deserves help, and/or compensation. I will continue to pay for her needs until she passes but at least I know she gets one on one fantastic loving care right here in my home which is priceless. No one should feel guilty receiving compensation unless they are taking it and they dont do 100% of the care, such as a nursing home or assisted living, thats just not right, but when its your life, its different and well deserved. Hugs to all of you at-home caregivers.

Janeil1.
FYI - my mother is taking care of her brother, not her mother. And her brother was not very nice to her or his other siblings. Basically my mother and I are the only family members who even care whether my uncle is dead or alive.

From Florida - also check into programs in your area such as caregiver assistance (stipend), financial help to the caregiver, financial help while taking care of the disabled...an organization who may pay stipends to assist you while taking care of a family member...don't give up, help is on the way! Be blessed...if you want...email me and I will help you look for any services in your area that may be able to help with this.

Hi I am in Florida and I am looking for ways to help the patient's and their caregivers because I am hoping to launch a Non Profit organization for the elderly. It's okay to give someone a small stipend to assist while they care for their love one. The money could be used to get gas for your car or some small need that you as the caregiver may have. I personally was blessed to have a husband who understood that you only have one mother or one father so I did not work for three (3) straight years in order to take care of my mother during her terminal illness. So we do what we have to do in order to survive. And by the way, my husband did not make a lot of money, so we do sacrifice in many ways...blessings from Florida.

My parents could have used extra income. I think people can cut back and still be able to care for their parents. We live in a material world and I grew up...less is more! This could be a whole new topic!

In Ohio, if you get it approved through the lawyer you can pay family members. I moved my mil to Ohio and my daughter is staying home to take care of her for awhile. I was able to pay her the going rate for caregivers for the hours that I would use if I didn't have her.

Janiel1, I understand exactly what you are saying. However, those moms that stayed home and took care of their children financially were able to but now most women don't have the luxury to stay home without an income. I certainly know that I don't.

I would definately seek help with this one! If I was caring for my Mom full-time, I could not ask for money. This is me! She took care of me now it is my turn!

Sorry, I know it is my 3rd post, but I needed to clarify my first one. I get paid 19 hours per week.

I also wanted to ad that I get an hourly rate based off of the caregiving agency we go through for pay, so that may differ for you too. Also, it doesn't matter if your mom's brother isn't as advanced into the late stages of the disease. She can still get paid according to his needs. A case worker from United Health will come out to do an assessment on him to see what care he needs from your mom.

I'm not sure where you live, but in my state because of how advanced my MIL's disease is, I get paid 19 hours through her insurance to take care of her every day. My MIL is on medicaid, medicare, and also United Health Duel Complete. If you haven't already, I would check into it there. I believe the actual pay I receive goes through United Health Duel Complete, but they also will contract you for care through a local caregiving agency in your area. Perhaps, you could look it up online. I know they have a website and will give information specifically for your state there. I'd give you the web address, but I know certain info. on her isn't allowed to be posted. I hope you are able to get more pay. I know how tough it can be, especially when you have to give up your regular job to stay home to take care of someone. Best wishes to you.

Does she get income like ss or pension? She can get paid up to $1,000 per week from her Moms money. $300 a month might pay the electric bill, thats crazy low. Good Luck, talk to an attorney asap but remember she has to pay taxes on it which is about 30%.

just to clarify, she gets 10hours per week of agency home care for her brother, and she stays with him the rest of the time.