Mom is 91 ,broke her hip so we were able to place her in an ALF for "rehab"
She has moderate dementia. At her home she was living independently. However she developed fixed illusions, hallucinations, paranoia, didn't take all her meds,angry at neighbors, would sleep in her car at night,,calling police..all over the past 4 years there. I would love to keep her in the ALF but she hates it and yells to go home constantly.
She has been there 6 weeks and verbally abuses me ...GUILT!!.. for not taking her home! She is safe there, eating well but her mental anguish is extreme. She is on a low dose of anti-anxiety. She will not participate in activities. I feel so torn.
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If she is safe, eating well and has the energy to be verbally abusive, then her "mental anguish" is of her own creating. She will not be happy wherever she is and has probably been that way for many, many years.
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I am sorry that you are going through this. I've also wondered if my mother "pushes my buttons". I am consumed with guilt every day. I have given up my life to care for her at home.
Some days I feel like I cannot take her behavior towards me anymore (she treats my older brother with more kindness).
We only can do so much and you have to take care of you.
Seems like the anti-anxiety is not working.
Perhaps her Dr. can prescribe something else that will help with her anger, combative behavior, hallucinations, etc.
I will be following your post for tips that I may have to use if/when the time comes that my mom needs more help than I can give.