My mom had no trouble revoking the POA she had given my son and then i as the alternate. We got threatened with it a lot. Then she went to her lawyer and revoked it. Then went to the bank and had me removed. The person who drove her to these places? The paid caregiver who we always believed mom was giving her money to. Mom was sane and my lawyer said she could do whatever she wanted. We looked at as a favor. We no longer had to deal with the threats. Very sad.
BB - Unfortunately there is only so much you can do if they still appear to be competent and cognitive. I wouldn't be surprised if your mom revokes you as POA. This is very common. The bank may even have a revoke form they can provide her.......yeah, really.
Until she places herself at the point of endangering herself, your hands are tied. However, you can plan for the day which you will have to go to court (done in probate court) and file to become her guardian or conservator. Get a notebook and very clearly write down all the bad financial decisions or actions she does with date. Going gaming in and of itself is not a bad decision BUT if she has her utilities cut off or taxes not paid, or not taking her medications, etc. then it is. You need to document all this and also the dates of when you or others have attempted to speak with her on this and what she said. Keep your notes as unemotional as possible. All this you will use for the day you have to go to court.
It's amazing how much they will do the "I'm gonna revoke you" routine. For me, I never thought my mom would do anything like that. But she did. Lucky for me, years ago when we were updating her legal, the attorney (in TX) suggested that we add a "Guardianship in Case of Incapacity" statement. He said this would provide me a trump card to use in case, she in a fit of anger or dementia decided to remove me as POA as it was his experience that most will throw that line out to their kids. The bar for incapacity seems to be lower than being incompetent. She backed off on the whole revoke rant. If your state allows for this type of form to be done, I'd recommend doing it. Good luck.
yes she gets very angry when I try to talk about it. she went to the bank and had me taken off her checking account today and canceled the online banking so I cant be looking at her business any more. I still have poa and will go to the bank tomorrow to see what I can do. they gave her a loan and I questioned why she got a loan and now she don't want me to see her atm swipes at the casino.
She needs someone else in control of her money, especially if she's not able to understand mentally about finances. If that isn't going to happen, or she's just using really bad judgement, then don't bail her out when she can't pay her bills. At some point she's going to be forced to get her head out of the ether bag.
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Until she places herself at the point of endangering herself, your hands are tied. However, you can plan for the day which you will have to go to court (done in probate court) and file to become her guardian or conservator. Get a notebook and very clearly write down all the bad financial decisions or actions she does with date. Going gaming in and of itself is not a bad decision BUT if she has her utilities cut off or taxes not paid, or not taking her medications, etc. then it is. You need to document all this and also the dates of when you or others have attempted to speak with her on this and what she said. Keep your notes as unemotional as possible. All this you will use for the day you have to go to court.
It's amazing how much they will do the "I'm gonna revoke you" routine. For me, I never thought my mom would do anything like that. But she did. Lucky for me, years ago when we were updating her legal, the attorney (in TX) suggested that we add a "Guardianship in Case of Incapacity" statement. He said this would provide me a trump card to use in case, she in a fit of anger or dementia decided to remove me as POA as it was his experience that most will throw that line out to their kids. The bar for incapacity seems to be lower than being incompetent. She backed off on the whole revoke rant. If your state allows for this type of form to be done, I'd recommend doing it. Good luck.
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