If elders will not take meds, do exercise, remember to pay bills, or keep their home secured (to name a few) -- then, something goes wrong and they call for help. If they refuse to follow common sense rules, then at what point do we as family members/caregivers have the right to say, " I have tried to help but you will not follow common sense rules. You've made your bed now lie in it" (old expression).
My age group is old enough to remember that expression used on us. The person telling us this was saying that they will not be responsible for our behavior or the fallout any more; the responsibility was on us to take care of the issue.
Case in point -- elder won't take a medicine prescribed. There is an adverse medical occurence -- 911 is called -- trip to hospital. Caregiver is called out of work. Doesn't get home 'til way late -- spouse and children eat sandwiches for supper. Kids don't get the promised cupcakes baked, spouse is cleaning the cat-box and doing after supper dishes. Day is done -- caregiver too tired to wonder what household needs still have to be done -- all because of a trip to an emergency room w/ hours of waiting to hear the elder say "I just don't like that medicine," and the ER docs have no time but the shake their heads and transcribe a note to the elder's primary doc. Usually the caregiver/family member is "scolded" for not getting the elder to do what is prescibed. Well, guess what? They have no authority unless they have complete guardian paperwork. The caregiver has to make a dozen calls the next day to follow up on everything for the elder's benefit and the elder doesn't ever care -- they just want attention when they "have a tummy ache" or whatever. Help!
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Add this to the fact that she's a diabetic and eats full sugar ice cream and candy daily, won't take most of her meds or "forgets" to take them, and won't eat dinner half the time because she is "too tired" and doctor visits become an absolute nightmare. Dad's just as bad, is in renal failure, and steals cigarettes when he thinks we can't find them, hides his meds, throws a fit if we take his salt shaker away (or fill it with anything other than salt) and generally complains about anything the least bit healthy that gets cooked (even if its not for him!)
I actually live IN the home with them though, so everyone assumes I should have more control over things. It's enough to turn even the most even-tempered person into a full on basketcase.