OMG, I feel the same way, I don't know what to do myself. I'm sick to my stomach just from thinking how much I have changed as a person. I use to go 100 miles an hour with my 5 children always involved in something and now NOTHING. My baby is 17 years old and ready to leave the house because it's hard for him to be quiet because grama wants quiet, not being able to hang out with his mom, do the things that we use to do. I feel you. I pray my life isn't over if I outlive my mother. I feel like I'm waisting away with her. It's so sad really. But if I wasn't here with my mom I would feel guilty so I guess I'd rather feel bored then guilty.
Your mother is so young to have dementia, which in turn must mean you are a particularly young caregiver. It is a hard, lonely life. You need to take deliberate steps to not be isolated. It is not going to just happen on its own.
I think I've become a broken record on this topic, but it is essential. Caregivers absolutely positively must have regular respite. And if you are thinking, "oh sure, I'll put that on my to-do list," I can relate. That is what I thought at first, too. But you need to go to the gym or to the library or shopping or whatever helps you recharge your batteries regularly. Look into adult day health programs in your area. Recruit a relative. Hire a sitter. Connect up with an organization that has volunteer respite workers. Do whatever you need to do, but get out of the house regularly, and not just for trips to the grocery and drug stores.
And also, bring some company to you. If you have local friends who can come over for coffee or cokes while your mother naps, great! Play cards or wii games or just sit and talk. It is hard for you to get away. It might be easier to invite them in.
I have a good friend who now lives in another state but is often here on business. We tried and tired to mesh our schedules for a lunch date while she was in town, without success. We finally set up virtual dates. We set aside times to talk on the phone. That worked fairly well!
Corresponding by email is another virtual way to keep in touch. And it is easy to do at any time of the night and day. No schedule meshing is required!
It is very important that you do not add isolation to the many built-in stresses of caregiving. And, yes, that is one more thing to add to your to-do list, but your sanity is worth it.
Bless you for taking care of your mother. I encourage you to take care of yourself, too.
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I think I've become a broken record on this topic, but it is essential. Caregivers absolutely positively must have regular respite. And if you are thinking, "oh sure, I'll put that on my to-do list," I can relate. That is what I thought at first, too. But you need to go to the gym or to the library or shopping or whatever helps you recharge your batteries regularly. Look into adult day health programs in your area. Recruit a relative. Hire a sitter. Connect up with an organization that has volunteer respite workers. Do whatever you need to do, but get out of the house regularly, and not just for trips to the grocery and drug stores.
And also, bring some company to you. If you have local friends who can come over for coffee or cokes while your mother naps, great! Play cards or wii games or just sit and talk. It is hard for you to get away. It might be easier to invite them in.
I have a good friend who now lives in another state but is often here on business. We tried and tired to mesh our schedules for a lunch date while she was in town, without success. We finally set up virtual dates. We set aside times to talk on the phone. That worked fairly well!
Corresponding by email is another virtual way to keep in touch. And it is easy to do at any time of the night and day. No schedule meshing is required!
It is very important that you do not add isolation to the many built-in stresses of caregiving. And, yes, that is one more thing to add to your to-do list, but your sanity is worth it.
Bless you for taking care of your mother. I encourage you to take care of yourself, too.
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