Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
V
vaughn Asked February 2013

Is it wrong to feel hurt that my husband chooses to live in Florida while I am caregiver for my parents in another state?

We normally winter in Florida but my mom had a out patient surgery that went wrong and has spent the last 5 months in the nursing home or hospital. My father is 81 and not in the best of health and my siblings all work so most of the responsibility falls on me. My husband doesn't like the cold weather so he spends much of his time in Florida. Mom is being released from the nursing home at the end of the month and then they will need me more than ever. I feel my husband should be here helping to support me. I helped take care of his mom for 4 years before she died.

jeannegibbs Feb 2013
I know there is always more to the stories than gets stated in the first post, but based just on what you've written, I don't think you are wrong to expect your husband to be supportive by his presence. The line that cinched it is "I helped take care of his mom for 4 years."

Could you compromise on this? Could he spend part of the winter in a warm climate, but spend some of it with you? Could you make other arrangements for your parents' care and spend part of the winter with him in Florida?

I can understand that your parents will need more help than ever. I don't believe that it all has to be on your shoulders. If they are in their early 80s now, this could go on for one or both of them for another 10 years or more.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter