He was diagnoised in '09 but has steadily gotten worse. I feel I won't survive this Caregiving role to the end of his journey. His denial, anger and unreasonal thinking and actions are just stressing me out to the point I sometimes feel like running away. I'm 64 and he is 66 and I never expected the "Gold Years" to be like this. He says he wants to die before me as he does not know where any thing is and I've found myself praying for the same thing. Any encouraging words for me?
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Ideally, he could go to adult day care or something to give you a break, or even into assisted living. This is taking too much of a toll on you. He says he wants to die before you do, but if continue on with this emotional stress, your health may collapse.
You can check with your local Area Agency on Aging or find your National Family Caregiver Support Program on your state's website. Type in your state and the search word "aging" and you'll find many links. These groups will help you find local resources.
You really do need to take care of yourself.
Carol