Disruptive roommate with my Mother. What can I do?

I just experienced the same with my mother..her roommate passed away, so they put a new patient in her room that does nothing but yell on top of her lungs all night..Now my mother is 92 years of age, and gets very little sleep as it is, now she is not getting any. I approached the DON and nicely told her about the situation..Low and behold right after I left the nursing home , the DON scolded the charge nurse for telling me about my mother not able to sleep..

I agree, ChristinaW... what a horrible thing to put 2tsnana's mother through if they had room to put her roommate somewhere else. So sad. I'm glad it's over for her now (both of them) and I hope you mother, 2tsnana, will get some peace and restful sleep.

I agree there are residents that have been there much longer than my Mom and they leave them alone, maybe they have to test everyone's endurance and mood meter...everyday I learn something new..everyday I learn a new coping skill... I learn what I do that make it better and what makes it worse..

Don't you think it's weird that the place is "low" on residents and they put someone so close to death in with your Mom? I'm sorry, but things like that make me bounce off the walls. What are they trying to accomplish?
Give your Mom a nice back rub for me and take her outside for some fresh air. Breathe and relax. She will pick up on the calm and get centered a bit. xoxo

Went to see my Mom today and her roommate passed away at a little after midnight last night..soooo when I got there today the room was back to normal except the bed was stripped. I can understand alot of her behavior better now. I only hope they leave my Mom by herself for awhile. The nursing home is low on patients so they really could just let her have her room for a little while longer. She has not had good sleep for two nights now. The first night the roommate was acting out and last night they were busy in there while she died and prepping her for the funeral home. So tonight I hope she get some restful sleep. Thank you all for your support all the time.

Thanks..this is a whole new experience for her and I. I am very defensive of her it is my job and I take it very serious. I really do not think her roommate will be around for long. Her being combative does not seem to be natural reaction I think she is in the dying part of her life. She turns her head when they try to give her food or drink...the contraption they had her in was preventing her from disrobing. I hope I never live to a point in my life that I am not aware of things or what I am doing. I hope my mom does not live to that point either. I say we should live life to its fullest while we can...these are hard days, but also days of growth and self reflection..Would I rather not have this job..Yep ..has this job taught me things that will help me.. Yep..some days are good.. some suck..need to enjoy the good ones and learn from the sucky ones. How is that for profound advice...;-)

My mom was put in a NH room with a woman whose husband had the TV at super-loud volume all day and night. When I next came by, my mother said they'd just had screaming children visit who'd decided to play on her side of the curtain. She was miserable.
I went out in the hallway a little later, and the roommate's husband came at me with his fist raised, ready to hit me, and shouting that I had yelled at these children that I had never even seen.
An aide came along, as he was screaming at me, and refused to get involved. So I pointed out that what he'd done was assault, and I wanted to make a formal complaint. Suddenly, another room was available (though we'd been told for 2 days that there was no other bed), and my mother was moved to a better, cooler, larger room. In short: they can move your mom and give her cable for free (maybe it's a better room!) ; or they can move the roommate. I doubt that it's legal for your mom to be in such a filthy, unsafe situation. If it's like my mom's nursing home, there is almost no one working with any power, or seemingly with any interest in fixing problems; I had to make a fuss to right many wrongs. (And by the way, her new roommate was wonderful.)

Went back this evening and it was much better. The roommate was a lot calmer I mean like real quite. She kept pulling her oxygen out and will not eat or drink anything. I have a feeling she will not be around long. They had her in a bed that kind of looked like a big chair so she could pull her gown off. She is really quite pitiful..I told my mom if she stayed that quite and with the curtain pulled she would be OK...so we will see. She has not had any family come in and she doesn't have any clothes in the closet...so I don't know what is up with her. Just glad she calmed down...

If the roommate is there for "respite" care, that sounds temporary. Another reason that she should be the one moving.

What on earth is the NH thinking of? Crazy!

And with 3pinkroses. :)

I agree with ChristinaW; stand up for yourself! No reason in the world that your mother should have to move if she is not the one causing the problem, and she was in the room first. That makes no sense. Be strong and good luck!!

I would absolutely NOT have your mother moved. Another patient is causing the problems, therefore, they should be moved. The shoe is on the other foot for me; as MY mother had been the troublesome roommate. I insisted that they move my mother so as not to inconvenience the sweet, quiet roommate she had.

My mother was in and out of rehabs more than I can count and had mental health problems. She was always the one to be moved - and that is how it should be. It's not often "easy" to move the difficult patient, so that is why they like to take the easier route and move the poor person who is settled in and keeping to themselves. As said above; don't take know for an answer. Your poor mother should be able to stay right where she is. Blessings to you and take care.

Don't let them push you or your Mom around. Be firm and tell then to quit putting problems in with your Mom! You should not pay additional service charge for cable since They are causing this! Time to kick it up a notch, Babydoll. We are standing beside you for extra gumption. You can do it! xo