How can I get my mother to eat more?

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Redplum Asked March 2013

How can I get my mother to eat more?

Mom is living in a nursing home due to a car accident. Mild dementia is the dx right now. She wants out all the time and accuses me of placing her in the nursing home against her wants. She went from living privately in her own house to a nursing home due to her accident, several surgeries, and injuries. She basically has no control over anything any more and this annoys her too. So she has decided not to eat as much as she should and is losing weight. The nursing home has contacted me about this weight loss due to the fact that if she continues to not eat her body will shut down and that's the end. I've brought in some of her past favorites to munch on but since she resents me for putting her in the nursing home she is controlling this issue too by not eating it. The staff and her doctor have tried protein shakes and my mother refuses to take any pills due to her paranoia of this too. Any suggestions as to how I can stimulate her to eat more?

Diet & Nutrition

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score 2 · Answer 1

Tell her that if she really wants out, the hunger strike has to end; starting immediately. I take it she's doing it to get back at you. Another option is flipping the script on the emotional blackmail. Tell her you'll be back when she decides to put something in her stomach. And watch her do it. This goes on much longer they'll be calling you Cecilia B. Demented.

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score 2 · Answer 2

If your mom is in the home for rehabilitation after the car accident it is not clear from what you wrote if she can come home after she is healed. If she can go home with your help, why don't you talk to her and tell her that she can go home as soon as she is up and running and that she needs to eat well to make this happen. Tell her that you want her to come home and that she will come home when she is better.

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score 1 · Answer 3

Though it's right that your mum must eat plenty of fibre to help fight off the symptoms of her diverticulitis, I wouldn't advocate her eating a very low fat diet.
In fact a moderate amount of unsaturated fats, particularly those in oily fish, nuts, seeds and olive oil her diet will be of particular benefit to her rheumatoid arthritis and heart problems, and shouldn't adversely affect her gall bladder condition.

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score 2 · Answer 4

There is a product called Benecalorie and it comes in a small cup like coffee creamer. It's supposed to be tasteless and odorless and it contains 300 calories. It was developed to help people gain weight. If your mom is still eating or drinking anything at all, you may be able to add this to her food or drink without her knowing it. It can be ordered through a pharmacy store like Walgreen's etc.
The next step I would suspect, would be a feeding tube, and I'm sure she wouldn't tolerate that. There is not a whole lot that can be done once an elderly person refuses to eat. I hope this helps. Good luck Redplum!

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How can I get my mother to eat more?

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