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gowest222 Asked March 2013

Does anyone have suggestions on hobbies for dad?

My dad is 87 and doing great! Lost his wife last November 2011. I'm his POA and the one who is making sure he has meals and outings. He drives his new 4 wheel drive truck! My dad worked in construction for 30 years, so often I go over and he has moved all his furniture around! I'm talking a sleeper sofa! At first I totally freaked out but he said he has to keep his strength up. wow! Anyway, I work full time so I go to dinner with him on Friday nights, have him over on sunday for dinner and Wednesday night we go to play a bingo type game at a club. But he needs a hobby. He doesn't read much, 8th grade graduate. I just want to know of a hobby that he would like doing. He has a defib so can't be around electronics. Any ideas? I thought about model cars but he said no. Also no to puzzles. He keeps watching old videos of their vacations. I think it would be kind of depressing for him but he likes watching them. Thanks for listening.

gowest222 Mar 2013
I bought him a Kindle for games and he never used it. He said you might as well take it home. I tried to get him to play everytime I went over there. No interst in computers. I did buy him boxes for photos but not sure if he worked on that yet. He just likes to tinker especially outside. I wish it would warm up here.

susan26 Mar 2013
oh, ps, one of he things we did was give him all the family pics, and asked him to scan them, catalogue them, and date them. he has spent hours and hours and hours doing this, plus it is his past, so he thoroughly enjoys it. he spends ages making cd's, usb sticks, dropbox files of family pics. if your dad keeps watching vacation movies, maybe he would find something like this therapeutic and fun?

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susan26 Mar 2013
my fil tinkers as well, doesn't read much either, not one for socialising, and although he used to have animals, hates our cats and is constantly kicking them away. we give him something to do everyday, eg: he surfs the internet all day, so we give him 'things' to research, eg: which universities offer the courses my daughter wants to sign up for, comparing prices of items across a few web sites. we give him small jobs to fix, eg: fixing the doorbell, or changing the lightbulbs. my husband has two 'technical' projects going with him - one is a water project for moniotoring the irrigation in the garden - and he has been tinkering with that for 'launching' in spring, ( if the sun ever returns). they have a 'meeting' at night, fil feedbacks his progress that day, and hubby gives him his 'tasks' for the next day. he potters on these things for a few hours a day, seems to work in our situation.

moonchild Mar 2013
I need to clarify on that pet plan at Banfield inside of Petsmart, it's $31.95 a month. Worth every penny.

How long do you mourn? That is completely up to the individual. After my father died, the three of us children were completely aware that N. was not ever going to be the type to be alone. She is quick to feel lonely and ALWAYS VERY needy. We loved our daddy and we knew that he loved her and would want her to be happy. So the three of us kids sat her down and told her that we had no problem with her dating when she was ready to do so. She began experimenting with dating a little over two months later. It was hard on my little sister who was still at home, N. dated some real losers for a while. Eight years later she married a really wonderful man, four years later he died of cancer. That was hard on the kids, they really loved Grandpa Bill. Sixteen years later she is dating again. She isn't a part of my life anymore, so I won't be meeting this gentleman.

ChristinaW Mar 2013
Hmmm? A Handy Dandy Fix it Honey. Get him a new tool belt! xo

gowest222 Mar 2013
No she wasn't my mom and didn't include us in their family picnics, ect. Although her family now that she is gone they have been very kind and invited us! So although I feel bad for him I have my dad back!

martinez2tx Mar 2013
since he still drives, maybe going to a senior center or helping widowed senior ladies. Look up the program seniors helping seniors. He could go to the ladies homes and help them do small repairs and things in their homes.

ChristinaW Mar 2013
Hey gowest222, the older they are, the faster they need to mourn and get on with living. Absolutely NO Disrespect intended. If he is that healthy, he needs a companion. If the last wife was not your Mother, then faster still. Lol. Am I bad?
I lost my precious Dad when I was 21, and if it were him we were speaking of, I would give him my permission and Blessing. You are a lucky daughter:) xo

gowest222 Mar 2013
I laugh about the girlfriend! When you are 87 and lost your wife 1 1/2 years ago how long do you have to mourn before you start dating again? lol! He never was much of a pet person but I wish he would get a small dog or cat. Oh well. My husband said how about a talking parrot! I should have signed him up for the health center to walk,. He goes to the doctor on April 4th to talk to cardio they wanted to do a angioplasti but I think we freaked out when he went to the hospital and told them no. So I'm not going to push walking right now. Thanks for your ideals!!

ChristinaW Mar 2013
First, he needs a girlfriend. That will solve a lot, if you know what I mean:)
Maybe get in touch with construction companies in his area for consulting or equipment security. Something he knows and could be helpful at. Contact community college and see if they have construction program/classes he could
assist. Maybe he could take up golf? Good exercise. Yay, Dad! xoxo

moonchild Mar 2013
On pets for seniors, I offer food for thought.

I wouldn't surprise him with a pet. Maybe if YOU got a pet and let him have all the access he wanted. Or you could surprise him, but only as long as you were prepared to take the pet home and keep it. Another idea is to foster pets. You could find out if the pet would be the right one for you and maybe even adopt it. So many pets are languishing in shelters, or are going to be killed any day because they haven't been adopted.

Steve really enjoyed Guinea Pigs, he had two of them. They are low maintenance and the two that we had enjoyed sitting on his lap, crawling up to under his chin and cuddling. Cage cleaning is once a week and we kept the cage outside most of the time only bringing it in when temps were in the 40s or if there was rain.

Now we share custody of a very mellow dog who is quite willing to spend the day at our feet, but very ready to walk or play whenever any of us are. I keep him for most of the time, but I'll leave him with Steve for anywhere from a few days to two weeks. I think that Turbo has been great for Steve because he gets him off of the recliner and out for a walk. Turbo knows when to walk slow because Steve is out of breath, and he will even pull Steve up hill when Steve is struggling with that. He makes it so that Steve talks to all the people who want to stop and pet Turbo or ask about what kind of dog he is, (rescue mutt, but mostly Australian Cattle Dog), and where we got him and how old is he. Steve was nearly completely agoraphobic before Turbo came into our lives. My daughter began Turbo's training, but Steve taught him a few more tricks and that made him happy.

If you are considering a pet of any kind, please do research and find out all you can. Look for an animal that has a temperament that will work for the family and doesn't require any more maintenance than you are willing to put out.

Also, cats, dogs, and other pets will require vaccinations and regular veterinarian visits. They are more expensive than a bag of kibble every month like most people seem to think. I bought into a pet plan at Banfield Veterinarian inside of Petsmart Store for our Turbo. $31.95 covers all his Vet Visits and most of his vaccinations. I've saved just over a thousand dollars. Yes, vets are That expensive. But I'm keeping my dog as healthy as I kept my kids. He gets heart worm medication and Advantix II for fleas every month. I have him groomed every 8 weeks. He is bathed and his fur is brushed out, checked for fleas and ticks, clipped/shaved, his nails ground down, ears checked/cleaned, anal glands expressed if necessary, and his teeth are brushed. I do some of this at home myself of course, but I can't do all of it. I don't have a bathtub, and I don't know how to clip and grind his toenails down. And I ain't NEVER gonna be expressing anything's anal glands! O.O

Does that look ridiculously expensive? Do you think I do to much? It's not as expensive as having a child. But there is more to having a dog or cat than most think. My boyfriend David has two cats and the only thing he doesn't pay for out of that list is grooming.

Medina4 Mar 2013
My Father worked on Construction for 30 Years Also.
He would tinker..make things..perhaps you could Also have him fix things.I would also bring in a litter box...and a pretty gray kitten or black &white..to come in and surprise him..would be a great idea..some people say no when the heart would really say yes...and cats are more independent..so when he is there ..is a companion who gives love to him..and a smile.!!

Chicago1954 Mar 2013
What about a gym/health club? Maybe there is one for seniors? Just so it isn't one of those where they do chair exercises. Does he enjoy baseball? the season is starting and HS are already playing?

gowest222 Mar 2013
I tried the pet idea and he said no, although he loves my minature bulldog. I thought about the whittling thing, he might enjoy that. He hasn't said he is looking for a hobby so maybe I won't push it. I'm going to spend the night with him Friday night and then he seems to open up more about things. I think once the weather gets nicer it will be better. The senior center is a good idead, will have to check that out in our area.

moonchild Mar 2013
My husband has an A.I.C.D., Automatic Implanted Cardio Defibrillator in his chest, he got it in 2003 after a stroke, it's been replaced once. He has cardiomyopathy, Afib and Vtach. I don't know about the electronics warning, maybe it's new. Steve was told not to tarry by the front door of stores that have those pole devices that search for tags on stolen items. He was also told not to bend low over the open engine of a running vehicle. He can work on a vehicle, but he has to step back when they run it, or be the one inside running it. He hasn't done it in a while anyway.

It may be possible for your dad to run those little radio control cars. Definitely ask his cardiologist first. Even better, you dad should be carrying a card by the maker of his implant, there is a phone number on it where you can call and ask questions.

My husband doesn't have an RC Car, but when we go camping with the kids, he plays with theirs and has a lot of fun.

Jeanne is right though, find out if your dad is even looking for a hobby.

jeannegibbs Mar 2013
Does he bowl? The senior center may know of (or even sponsor) a Senior bowling league. (He might want a lighter ball than he used to use.)

Has he ever collected anything? Salt & pepper shakers, glasses with beer logos on them, key chains with state names on them, etc? Would he get a kick out of taking his truck around to garage sales and estate sales and antique stores to find this items?

Might he get a kick out of learning to knit? Or to whittle?

I kind of think, though, that when I'm pushing 90 I might just want to relax and give up most of my hobbies, not acquire new ones! If he isn't bored, make suggestions but don't push too hard.

JessieBelle Mar 2013
gowest, has your dad told you that he is bored? If he hasn't, chances are that he is content doing the things that he is doing. If he is bored, maybe he would like to keep company with people at a senior center if you have one in the area. There are many activities at senior centers. They play cards and other games, have dances, or go on trips together. Many seniors enjoy the company of others their own age. Some of them even find romantic interests, which always adds a little spark to life. Talk to your dad and see if he would be interested. He might enjoy it.

Chicago1954 Mar 2013
Pet Rescue Saga. (I am kidding) If you aren't familiar with facebook games, it is one of those addictive ones that goes on and on and wants you to spend money to get extra lives.

Would he like a small pet, though?

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