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eguillot Asked April 2013

Does your elder mother feel the need to get all done up to go to the doctors?

My mother has a doctor's appointment at 10:00 am tomorrow morning, 45 minutes from our house. She insists on getting all dressed up to go to the doctors office, and she needs at least a half hour on the ice packs in the morning, plus breakfast and calming time before we leave. This means getting up an ungodly hour. Mind you, it takes me all of 15 minutes to get ready, set, GO! so I have never really understood this long careful preparation for something this mundane. Is this a generational thing?

ChristinaW Apr 2013
Definitely a cultural thing. It is surprising how much better patients are treated and how well doctors listen when one dresses up. People are treated with more respect when they take the time to look presentable. Not only have I read articles that state this phenomena (!) , but I have experienced it. Additionally, I think it is a throwback to simpler times when we didn't have so much to do in a day. :(( xo

Patti4Mom Apr 2013
Sorry to hear your Mom is getting weaker, so is mine. My mother does like to get dressed nicely and have her hair combed and some lipstick for the Dr. visits. It does not take her that long to get dressed, but she doesn't do a lot of make up and accepts the wrinkles. I understand it is hard if you have to get up early. Some days are better than others!

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eguillot Apr 2013
She has always wanted to look good - she is a beautiful woman :) . However, she has very little energy now, and it takes everything she has now to get all done up. By the time she's all made up, she's ready for a nap.

Normally we try to schedule her appointments for either 11 am in the morning or 4 pm in the afternoon (after her nap), but the doctor called and rescheduled this appointment and my husband took the call (he doesn't know any better, poor guy, he tries). We have a community calendar where we put all of our appointments, and the time was free, so he put it in.

We used to be able to go out for lunch or go shopping or do other things. Not any longer. Mom is so weak now that getting her up, dressed, and to a doctor's appointment is all she can do. By the time she's done with that she just basically falls into bed. She has some GI bleeds, had transfusions but was still weak, now she's been diagnosed with pernicious anemia. Need to do some reading up on that.

NancyH Apr 2013
It would be interesting to know whether this is a new thing, or has she always wanted to look good when she goes out. For me, I don't leave the house without makeup, so my family is doomed when I'm an old woman. :)

jeannegibbs Apr 2013
My mother wore house dresses or pedal-pushers around the house. About the only places she did go during my childhood were out to dinner with Dad or to the doctor (for pregnancy only -- but I have 6 younger siblings, so I saw this a lot). She dressed up equally for both events. Nail polish, nylons, girdle or maternity garter belt, best outfit, full makeup, etc.

I choose to wear clothes easy to take off and put on if I have an appointment that might involve that but certainly don't consider a visit to the doctor to be a dress-up occasion! Mom does, though.

If possible, in the future make appointments for later in the day, so you don't have to get up at the crack of dawn. And take advantage of having her all glamorous to perhaps go out for lunch or coffee afterwards.

sharynmarie Apr 2013
Most likely it is generational especially if your mother always took great effort to be dressed up even to go grocery shopping. My mil was like that. My mother is more casual so she never had a problem wearing jeans, tennis shoes and a nice blouse, plus my mom didn't wear a lot of make up. My mil wore foundation, powder, blush, nails/toenails polished. plus she had a standing hair appt. everyweek.

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