My siblings are not allowing me to see/visit my elderly mom. What resources do I have?

The police can't do anything because it is a family matter. They are not lawyers. If you are concerned, then you should ask a family lawyer. My question is who is your mom's power of attorney aka "POA"? If she doesn't have one, then this is what you should discuss with the family lawyer. POA's have control over the invalid's financial and health issues. Most lawyers have free consultation before you hire them so write down all your questions before your consultation. Hope this helps!

Thanks you touched by angel, we definitely in similar boats.
Keep an eye out on this discussion thread, I've received
Pretty useful information so far. :) I hope the tides turn for us soon

Hi, concernedny....I feel your pain and I know you must be very upset , worried & afraid for your Mom. I recently went through pretty much the same thing except I had been care giving for Mom 2 special needs younger sisters & younger brother who passed away in July 2012. My older sister and 2 older brothers got mad at me because I found out my sister had been taking S S A money from Mom & sisters for a long time, I threatened to report her next thing I know A P S is showing up, 3 weeks later I get served with an emergency protective order, haven't seen Mom or sisters in 3 months... I worry about them a lot I am at a loss for an answer for you because I haven't found answers with what I've got going on. Let me know if you have any ideas and I'll do the same. Take care

Thanks for all the helpful suggestions, I really appreciate it--especially wuvsicecream--that a great idea on sending a certified letter to all detailing my concern and willingness to agree on a future care plan for our mom.

-Toninaf: My mom's siblings are all in other country. I do get along well with my nieces and nephews, and they along with my daughter have tried to mediate all this, but my siblings refuse to cooperate. The old health aide was very nice, and she used to give me updates on my mom when I called, but my sister had her changed and I've never met the new one, so she's more standoffish. I've tried calling the apt but no one picks up.

concernedNY Good for you for being alert about the situation and for not ignoring this. From your question and the events you explained, I gather you truly care about what happens to your Mom. This care obviously reflected on your daughter too. So that tells me she learned from you, that family matters. When you wanted the siblings to help and upon their neglect, you then moved on, they must have gotten angered, because then they didn't have you as a puppet, so they feel you should be punished now. They know the best way to punish you is by not letting you get close to your Mom. The reality is that you do need to get them to understand that you care but you don't want to be the sole caregiver, and your absolutely right it's not fair to you.
If I were you I'd send them each a letter stating your concerns and the events as they transpired (leave out anger, you can feel it but not write it as they can use that against you). write all your efforts, time, concerns for your Mom, and the reality of your Mom's health in jeopardy. Then ask them to respond as to the future care plan and your wishes to pool together for your Mom's sake. I would send each sibling a copy certified with a receipt of receiving by signature of the letters, as well as sending a certified copy to Adult Senior Services, Adult Protective Services, Ombudsman (the protect elders in abusive care situations), Alzheimer's Association, any organization that understands your concerns and is there to help. List all names of who will be recieving the copies on this letter. You can find these offices in phone book, look under hotlines, or go to a Nursing Home in your Area and a social worker there should have any of the local elder resource contact info, they deal with this stuff regularly. I suggest a personal visit if you do this because SWer's are usually overwhelmed and don't have much time. The idea behind the certified letter's is, if you do seek Guardianship this will be proof and your leaving a paper trail of your actions and if they don't follow through, you also have proof of their neglect, in not acting on your Mother's behalf and that YOU have tried to do something. In seeking Guardianship a court wants proof of the health issues and the legal need for this to take place and to become an order of the court by law. Just like a child's custody a court will look at facts of care and neglect, abusive issues etc. , they want the person to be in the right hands for the right reasons. Without proof, it's just hearsay, and written certified letter on paper is proof of your real concerns and your actions and intentions on your acting for your Mom's behalf, in-fact state that in the letter.
In the mean time... write down any phone calls you make even if they hang up or don't return calls. Oh and don't mention the letter, If they contact you write down the info transpired in the call., emotions you feel how your Mom is doing or anything significant. I also suggest not to waist anytime trying to get things done the "normal way" what I mean is people change in these situations, the people you thought you knew, and thought would be there in a needed family crisis, often act as if they are strangers. You don't need a lawyer to do this and believe me if you act with your heart, selflessly and with kindness in your heart, help will be there. Just remember that actions speak louder than words. Good Luck!!! Hug your daughter too!!!
I say that because I saw a Mother/Daughter bond I never knew existed, until my Grandmother was ill, and I witnessed my Mom being there for her. I do believe this is how I was able to get through the family BS and by the way my Mom is doing very well considering her dementia...LOL I think I will be 6 feet under before her.

I'm sorry but not entirely suprised the plice did not help. The correct agency to call is Adult Protective Services. They would be pretty well obligated to take a report of a balck eye and bruising. Would a pro bono lawyer be able to help you contest the restraining order? I'm assuming it was made on false pretenses, and wondering how on earth she managed to get it, when so many people can't get one against others who are really dangerous?

You also mentioned and aide were you civil with her? Do you have a contact # for her? Maybe she can spy for you and even ask your mom if she has signed any papers? If she's still aiding for her?

No mention of mothers relatives or nieces and nephews, what about your brothers or sisters-in-law? Do you have any civility with them?

Unless you're a danger to your Mom and it's documented, I don't really see why you can't visit. Your sister is mad with you because she's overwhelmed. Still, you have a right to see your mother. You should, however, go to the nearest police precinct for tips on how to handle the situation without getting arrested. Push comes to shove, get a court order.

Just a bit of advice, try to keep the emotion out of it and avoid sounding what could be considered or determined to be vindictive.

No one has POA over my mother, since she never drew one up. At least not that I know of! My siblings changes the lock and now they have the only keys. They are not living there, but since neither of them works, they are constantly there.
Thank you for your suggestions. I will be calling APS.

Call the local agency on aging for possible assistance. They would be able to direct you to Adult Protective Services in your area could offer you a great deal of assistance, especially if you suspect physical or emotional abuse.

Did you have contact with her primary Dr.? What about Poa,ask Dr.s office tell them you're worried about her. So do your siblings have the only keys to your moms? are they living there? If they have Poa the siblings can pretty much do what they want. Goood luck.