Does anyone experience outburst with their spouse who has dementia?

My husband continued to be angry and verbally abusive, in spite of being on two depression/ant-anxiety meds and Namenda. What did finally help was putting him on Seroquel (an anti-psychotic). That made a big difference, both for him and for me. There are many potentially dangerous side effects associated with Seroquel, particularly with elderly patients with dementia (my husband is 79) but I would not be able to continue to take care of my husband at home unless he is taking this medication. I am the only thing standing between my husband and a nursing home placement so I remind myself that the nursing home would also have to resort to some pretty heavy meds if he lived there because my husband is even more difficult with others than he is with me. There are never perfect solutions to problems so that decisions often involve choosing the lesser of two evils.

I agree: anti-anxiety medication. I'm a nurse and a caregiver to my dad and you can get most medication in liquid form and then fill a syringe (no needle) with the med. Squirt it under the tongue. This is much easier than trying to get someone to take a pill. Fill up a bunch of syringes to have on hand (pop them in the fridge), that way it's handy when you most need it.

My mother was very bitter and mean and yelled because she thought my father had a hearing problem. I was literally the only person who could calm her down because I could get her off the subject and onto old memories and stories by showing her my pictures and genealogy books. She would calm down instantly and tell me all about the old days. It was not something that others picked up on or would take the time to do because they had heard all of the stories and were stick of hearing them. It did calm her.

There is no cure for dementia, but there are effective treatments for some of the symptoms. As others have suggested, these outbursts should be reported to her doctor so a treatment can be tried. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt to get the right remedy.

Also, Dad needs some time off. No matter how much he loves your mother, constant exposure to dementia behavior can be very stressful. Respite for him is necessary!

Yes, give her anxiety meds on a regular schedule. My moms pills ran out once & I will NEVER let that happen again.

My husband did the same thing, and the Dr. prescribed Namenda for him and it has helped a great deal.

Anti-anxiety meds for her. My dad is mid-stage dementia. His doctor prescribed 'as needed'. Yeah, well when he's in the middle of a tirade you can't call 'time out' for him to take medication. So I just put it in his daily pills. It helps, but it's not magic.

Certainly! Get him to your doctor and have him/her prescribe an anti-anxiety med. This is a very common behavior and you do not have to deal with it on your own. Get treatment for him.

Try to get some respite for her, either by hiring home health aides or by having you and other siblings if there are any, to give her a break as often as possible. I have this situation with my own husband and find it very hurtful and upsetting. The only hope is to be able to get away as much as possible to do things that I enjoy: dinner and a movie with friends, a walk in the park, etc.