How do you deal with a Mother who doesn't talk about anything important? She is a very calm, is what is person. My Mother is 94 and was diagnosed with early onset dementia. She was sent to a neurologist and he put her on 4 new medications, 3 for memory and 1 antidepressant. The Exelon patch is giving her rash under it everyday I change it to a new patch. I am the 24/7 caregiver in our family and DO NOT feel like she needs all these pills since she is 94 and was doing well without them, after all 94 year old people forget things. I do and I am 61!!! She seems almost lifeless now staring out the window repeating everything she sees 3 times...hummingbird,hummingbird, hummingbird....it's windy, windy, windy and on and on. This can drive me nuts some days!!! At a family meeting with siblings one brother says the DR. wouldn't have prescribed if she didn't need it. Both my sisters and I feel she should be able to live without all life-supporting medicines for her diabetes, thyroid, heart condition, high blood pressure, angina.....she already takes 18 pills a day. She did refuse treatment for a 7cm tumor on her ovary, as the DR said it would be to risky for surgery so she does understand what is going on. My heart breaks every evening watching her take 11 pills gagging them down and saying I hate pills, I hate pills, I hate pills. I have now started handing every one to her because I was finding them on the floor and in her chair. I don't know if she drops them or hides them.....any suggestions for being over medicated with things we feel she doesn't need or want. All she says is I hate pills and this is important.
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There are some things that people continue to need. If someone is diabetic, they need the insulin or Metformin. If someone has high bp, they need the bp medicine. However, if someone is in the latter stages of dementia, I don't personally see a lot of benefit to cholesterol lowering drugs, osteoporosis drugs, etc. Talk to her doctor to see what might be safe to eliminate.
Sometimes I feel like our elders are test tubes with a bunch of chemicals being added to keep them going. I have a strong feeling that many of these chemicals may not be useful, but have been prescribed over time. It would be nice if doctors did periodic reviews to decide what to leave in and what to leave out as circumstances change. I would definitely talk to the doctor.
I have begun to ask this question: If I were in my MIL's shoes - would I want someone to do this to me or for me? Is is really worth living 6 more months at age 88 in exchange for never enjoying another bite of anything I love?
Sometimes it just isn't worth the misery. We have decided to allow my MIL to ENJOY what little she has left to enjoy. If it shortens her life a few months or a year - so be it. Who wants to be totally miserable in their final days? Think Quality over Quantity here. I may be wrong - I often am.....................