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talfonso Asked April 2013

How do I respond if bedridden elder needs to get up to meet "visions"?

Just changed her bedding because my elder pulled her catheter out with help from aunt and cousin. I have the stained bedsheets in the laundry right now.

But that's part of the reason why I called them. My elder is weak, bedridden, and two days ago she had wheezing and gurgling. (I thought it was Cheyne-Stokes, which might be behind the gurgling.) She isn't gurgling that much now, but she is able to talk.

And that was the big part of another problem - my elder wants me to help her get up so she can meet "those people." I knew she was having deathbed visions because she is talking to people already deceased that aren't there. I didn't notice part of her catheter disjointed (the cause of the wet bedding) because I was too torn about what to do about it.

I'm glad that my cousin and aunt offered to help change the bedding. But I really want to avoid such a fiasco from happening again. What should I do the next time my elder calls on me to help get her up and "look for the people," in particular her deathbed visions. How do I respond, besides checking the catheter and oxygen tubing?

I am really desperate!

MishkaM Apr 2013
Hi talfonso,
Do you think that your elder's visions are real? Because , I think, if you do I would approach it differently. If you think the visions are just hallucinates can you tell your caregivee that you brought them over to her bed to talk so she doesn't have to get up? Tell her they love her and don't want to see her hurt herself and they want her to stay in bed; that they can meet her from the bed.

Or Does she tell you who they are that she sees? If you know who they are can you find a photo of them and place the photo by her bed and she can talk to them that way?
If you feel they are real spirits- well, I guess you could still tell your elder that they want her to stay in bed. IDK. I often wonder if the visions our elders see on the death bed are real I would hate to discredit the elder for seeing them.
Good luck and much blessings to you and your elder.

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